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I dont know what to do so any advice on this topic would be helpful.My MOH has messed up royally this time. She really hasnt been that helpful and in her defence we do work at the same location. So it is hard to get away at the same time. In the past year that we have been working together we have gotten 1 day off at the same time which we planned to spend doing as much wedding stuff as possible. Well long story short we spent the whole day looking for the perfect purse for her!!! Not a huge deal I suppose because we do have some time left, but its less than 6 months. The only dress that has been done is the flower girl dress, which one of the flower girls is the MOH's daughter. She doesnt like anything my FH picks for the wedding, but then doesnt have any suggestions. Is always telling me how it was done at her wedding, wants everything she has to be completely different from the other bridesmaids, cancells last minute for everything, complains about where we have picked for our rehearsal dinner(his family is asian), complains at work when I request certain shifts or time off to get stuff done for the wedding(which really hasnt been that often)....shes becoming a nightmare.But how did she really mess up this time you may ask? Well since we work at the same place as i said before it is hard to leave at the same time. She has recently informed me that she and one of her GF's will be taking a vacation to florida for about 1 1/2 weeks. No big deal right? Except she also added that she doesnt want to stay out too late on the night of my wedding because she needs to get some sleep since their vacation (to meet a blind date no less for her friend) starts the day after my wedding!!!!! -_- This means I can not go on my honeymoon until she decides to come back. She already paid for it and has put in her request at work all before she even told me. HOW RUDE!!!!!!I do not know how to handle her with out her getting upset and freaking out....since she does tend to over-react. I have ran through all the options in my head and with my FH and everything ends with her yelling or throwing a tantrum.
HELP!!!
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale." ~October 16, 2010~
I thought my MOH would have a cow when I told her that too, and that I wanted to add another person to be a MOH with her ( which she did have a cow about it but i convinced her that it would benefit her as well) but anyway. Since she's not being helpful to you, as a MOH should, I'd let her opt out of she wanted to. I hate it when ppl on here say that your MOH and BM aren't required to do crap for you other than buy the dress and stand there. I depend on mine to help esp my MOH's, and I think thats with most brides. Anyway, just sit down with her one on one and tell her your concerns and tell her that since she is a part of the bridal party that you can't garentee that she will be home early that night because it's tacky for the bridal party to leave before the guests and that it would be nice if she would help clean up and put things back the way they're suppose to be ( even if you don't feel that way) ... or... if you think she's giving you too much crap allready and you're done with it... cut her out completely, ask someone else close to you to be the MOH and tell her she can still be a guest. If you tell her she can be a BM its really the same situation. If she's a guest then you wont have to worry about it :) even if she does have a cow, do it in a store or something so she will embarass herself.... hahahahaha.... that was mean :) but it might work...
~ Married on September 19, 2009 ~
Im planning my wedding as well and although my co-worker and I can take the same time off (she is not in my wedding)we prefer not to becase really one of us should be here. So, If Im taking time off i ask her if she'll be in before i request it, and vice-versa. I think your friend is rude and inconsiderate and even if you didnt tell her when you were taking your honeymoon it can definitely be assumed that you will. She should have asked you before hand especially given the situation at your job with taking leave. Its not fair she did that. I would confront her and if she screamed and bitched, so what? You cant be afraid to tell her your feelings cuz youre afraid of her reaction. You are so considerate about her and her feelings and she is not at all about you and yours.... thats not fair.
HAHa I had that happen too. I took my MOH and another friend who was then a bridesmaid shopping for dresses. The MOH made a comment on how her dress could be a different color or whatever adn the bridesmaid bluntly said " NO you don't",she is usually very shy so i thought this was hilarious because the MOH had been negative about other things and insisted she be different too. SO needless to say, they are both a MOH now :) and everyone is going to have the same dress just because I don't want anyone biznatchin about well i look better in blue than pink and blah blah blah i may give them diff jewlery or a bigger bouquet like you said but thats it. Maybe your MOH could have different shoes? Idk what that woudl look like picture wise, maybe cute? maybe not? Has she chilled out with the negativity?
This might not be popular but I feel like I'm missing something here.Why hadn't you asked off already for your honeymoon? Had you actually booked/paid/scheduled a honeymoon? I asked off a year before my wedding and we had everything booked six months out I think.Perhaps she asked if that time was open and it was so she thought you were honeymooning some other time and went ahead and planned her trip? Perhaps this was the only time the other friend could go? Maybe they got an amazing Internet deal?
pingaling...
To: nkelly. The reason I had not put in my request was because at the time I had only been engaged for about a month and there were a ton of other things I was worrying about. The ONLY reason i feel this was so rude was because moments after I asked her to be my MOH we started talking about honeymoon ideas. Not setting anything in stone. It was very clear from our conversation that I was planning to take one ASAP. She went behind my back and put in a request the day after my wedding. She didnt even give me a chance. And we work for an international hotel chain so there is no better deal for an employee than to make it through the company. So to answer your question no there was no "special internet deal"To: Reg. That is a very good idea but unfortunetly the location we have picked is has already told us that if we move the date we will have to pay an extra fee on top of a second deposit of $1k. I just cant afford to change it. Pluse I have already sent out my Save The Dates with that date. To: Gennell. To answer your question I think she has calmed down a bit. This might sound mean but I really think all the negative stuff is coming from the fact that I am able to afford a lot more at my wedding than she could at hers. I am very lucky to have parents on both my side and his side that are as dedicated to the wedding as I am. And naturally that might cause some hidden feelings to come out even if you dont want them to. But I think she has really come to terms with it. The past week she has been a GREAT help. But we will see how long that lasts. As far as the dress goes, we were very lucky to find a dress that is almost exactly like the one I have picked out for the bridesmaids that she loves. So I figured if it will make her happy and Im ok with it then she can have it. But I will not be doing that for everyone and I have already made that clear to them.
Nevermind her and her plans, she clearly has no regard for yours. Make your plans like you were going to and enjoy yourselves. That's what I would do. I hate when people overstep their boundaries.
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