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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec
Walking by yourself down the isle
Ceremonies and Wedding Vows
Walking by yourself down the isle
<font color="#ffffff">From programs to processionals, chat with other brides about your ceremony inspirations.</font>
My parents are going through a divorce right now and I am not really talking to my dad.&nbsp; My fiance and I are getting married in June outside with the reception right after.&nbsp; I was thinking a
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Ceremonies and Wedding Vows
Walking by yourself down the isle
<font color="#ffffff">From programs to processionals, chat with other brides about your ceremony inspirations.</font>
My parents are going through a divorce right now and I am not really talking to my dad.&nbsp; My fiance and I are getting married in June outside with the reception right after.&nbsp; I was thinking a
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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:8758d21e-1ae0-4784-8255-0e111a953edf
Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:8758d21e-1ae0-4784-8255-0e111a953edfDiscussion:aafb74ed-2aaf-46c9-9b10-10e604165470

Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Ceremonies and Wedding Vows > Walking by yourself down the isle

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Forums  >  General Wedding Planning Topics  >  Ceremonies and Wedding Vows  >  Walking by yourself down the isle

Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 12:25 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 My parents are going through a divorce right now and I am not really talking to my dad.  My fiance and I are getting married in June outside with the reception right after.  I was thinking about walking myself down the isle but I'm trying to decide if that's even more awkward than having my brother walk me. My dad will be there I just don't feel comfortable having him give me away.

Has anyone else run into this situation??
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 12:33 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I don't have a situation like this but I would think walking by yourself would be awkward versus having your brother do it or even just you and your fiance walking together. Nothing says that it has to be your father with you, it could be a brother, uncle, grandfather, friend, cousin, nephew, whatever hell you can even have your mother or another female do it also.

*The Future Mrs. Wile*

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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 12:57 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I haven't dealt with this situation, but if you and your brother are close, it seems like a great idea to ask him instead.
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 1:02 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I don't speak to my father and I'm having my mom walk me down the isle.  She suggested I walk down the isle by myself, but I really want someone along side me.  Its important to me to have someone important supporting me during this long trip down the aisle.  There's nothing wrong with walking by yourself if that's what you decide to do.  Just do whatever will make you feel the most comfortable.  If you're close with your brother then do that, if not then just walk by yourself. 

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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 2:06 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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Is it possible that you will feel differently in a few months when the divorce activity settles down.  It's perfectly fine to decide "not to decide for now".  

I think that really makes the most sense. 

See how you feel in April, after this divorce activity and the holidays and winter is over.  Then make the decision.  Give your heart time to heal.

Best wishes. 

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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 2:25 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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One of my cousins walked down the aisle by herself (not totally sure why, considering both her parents are alive and well and involved in her life). It looked a little lonely to me, but she seemed totally happy with it.


My DH walked his sister down the aisle when she got married (their father is deceased). Pretty much anything is acceptable as long as you are comfortable with it.


Good luck!   :)
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 3:15 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 i walked by myself although my situation is totally different than yours.

My dad had a stroke and is in a wheelchair. i went through a bunch of scenarios (me oushing him down the aisle, my borhter opushing him beside me, my mom walking me...) and in the end decided that it would be most appropriate to have one brother escort my mom, the other push my dad as part of the family procession and i went by myself. before reaching my hubby went and gave my dad a kiss. since the only reason my dad couldn't escort me was the stroke i didn;t feel it was appropriate to "replace" him with someone else.

in your situation, honestly, i would wait to decide. see how things play out and in May revisit the aisle walk and gage how comfortable you are with each scenario. this is one of the decisions that can be made late without it impacting any plans.

I can tell you from experience that walking alone is easy.i was not the least bit uncomfortable. and what more support did i need than all my family and friends being present to witness my vows to the man i love...

give yourself some time to deal with all the emotions you are going through now and deal with this when you have a clearer head.

Best of luck!
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 3:26 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Personally, I dislike the entire idea of a the bride being an object that the man of the house is giving away like a piece of meat. Just my interpretation. My husband will not own me, my parents do not own me. I, and no one else, own me. I dislike that this tradition has remianed throughout the ages. I guess it's endearing thing for father/daughter, or whoever her escort is, but its roots are kind of revolting.

Honestly, I'm going to walk myself down the aisle. I am close with my parents and they are alive, but I am fully capable of walking by myself. We're definitely having "who gives this woman" line cut from the ceremony. Nor will I "obey" like a slave in my vows.

I may come off strong, but that's the way I feel about it.
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 3:41 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 well I never considered having anyone walk me down the aisle either, because I also dislike the "give her away" idea.  The idea that someone thought it looked "lonely" strikes me as bizarre but whatever.....

However, if my dad was alive and he wanted to do it, I would have gone along with it if it would have made him happy. 
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/29/2009 4:20 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Cosmo and J5 - I get where you're coming from (and I also asked the minister to NOT say the whole "who gives this woman" thing; my father and I just hugged instead). I just was so nervous at my wedding that I couldn't image walking down the aisle without somebody close to me. Cheers to my cousin and everyone else who could!!   ;-)


ETA - I never really thought of walking with my father as "being given away," anyway. To me, it was always just about having him be as noticed, involved and honored at the ceremony as much as myself and DH. Were my mother alive when I got married, she either would've walked with me as well, or been MOH. For me, my parents helped make me who I needed to be in order to find DH and have such a lovely wedding day!   :)
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/30/2009 8:10 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I've seen it done lots of ways. I didn't make my final decision about who was walking with me until about an hour before the wedding. If you have some time, just keep that decision on the to-do-list for awhile.
~Amanda

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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/31/2009 5:15 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I sort of like the idea walking down the aisle alone versus having someone sharing my entry moment.i want all eyes on me when i make that walk and i dont want anything to distract from that.the groom will be walking by my side back up the aisle,so going down it is the only opportunity to shine by myself.i also dont like the "giving away" tradition. i dont see why its so important that the dad walks down the aisle or gives away the bride,the mother doesnt do anything like that during a wedding ceremony.
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 10/31/2009 4:42 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 In Response to Re: Walking by yourself down the isle:
well I never considered having anyone walk me down the aisle either, because I also dislike the "give her away" idea.  The idea that someone thought it looked "lonely" strikes me as bizarre but whatever..... However, if my dad was alive and he wanted to do it, I would have gone along with it if it would have made him happy. 
Posted by cosmogirl


      That's sort of where I was - as long as no one referred to it as Dad giving me away, his assumption that of course he would be escorting me down the aisle was fine.  A definate Daddy's girl here.
       It ended up quite a joke, though.  We never had a formal rehearsal, a small wedding party who had all been in several weddings that year alone. 
      So what is the first thing the JP said the day before when he came to meet & greet?  "Who is giving away the bride?" 
     My great aunt, who is so shy she rarely speaks to outsiders, spoke right up, loud and clear - " since David (Dad)  has spent half his life trying to get her presentable for polite company,  it is right that  he will present her to the guests."   And everyone cracked up.  The JP remembered  at the wedding   when he cued guests to turn to see us - "The bride  Whatawag  is presented by her father."

     I have thought it fine when brides have chosen to walk down the aisle on their own, and think each bride should do as she wants.
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 11/2/2009 10:34 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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 I am walking myself down the asle. My daughter's wanted to walk me but I don't think that I am being given away. so I would rather walk by myself because after all it is all about the bride
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 11/7/2009 6:30 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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 Thanks all for your suggests, comments and support! I will give it a few months and enjoy the planning :)
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 11/12/2009 8:17 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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 I am in the same exact situation! My dad and I are cordial around each other but that's about it. The relationship is nonexistent right now. I'm getting married May 22, 2010, so I have time to decide what I want to do as well. I do want to honor my dad (I still love and care for him), but then my mom would be jealous that she didnt have an honored position. An idea that I'm considering is having my groom already at the alter (as usual), have the bridal party walk down and everything, then my groom would walk back down the isle and "get me" and we'd walk back up together. In our case, as Christians, it would be a representation of how Christ comes to us in our lives, but I guess it wouldn't have to be a reference to Christianity if you didn't want it to be. Just a suggestion! It helped me to read the other posts for your question. Thanks!
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 11/20/2009 9:45 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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 I've always read these boards, but I have never posted anything. When I read this one, I knew I had to reply. I am in the same situation. My parents just went through a really bad divorce and I do not have anything to do with my father. (He may or may not be invited to the wedding; I'm waiting until it is closer to time to make that decision). I'm having my mom and my 12 year old brother walk me down the aisle. (My fiance and I get my brother to come stay with us on the weekends sometimes and we are all really close!) I was wondering about the "Who gives her away..." stuff and how to not make it weird, but I like the idea of cutting it out of the ceremony. Afterall, it's our wedding and we can do it how we WANT to!Smile
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 11/20/2009 10:37 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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    fururemrsd-  you are right.  The things to do with your emotions and family feelings are all flexible, and all that matters is that you are happy.

     I am for traditions that indicate that other people always be treated nicely,   that people not be greedy, and not trample on other's feelings.  This is where brides in the "It's my day and I'll do what I want"  mode usually provoke terrible reactions.

      Your type issue,traditions like what is said in the ceremony,  who walks with you, what is said and what is omitted -   these really are the places where it is the B & G and family choice that matters.   Not traditional formats, not what other people do.

       I know a number of people who were just leaving home when a divorce or other situation happened, who simply avoided "home"  and any kids still at home.  And other teens and children whose older sibs fell in love and were so absorbed they kind of abandoned the younger kids they used to spend time with.
        It is generous and kind  of you to have your younger brother stay often - his world has kind of blown apart, and knowing you won't disappear when married must mean a lot.  Your Mom benefits from a breather, alone time, too.
     Good for you.  Have a great wedding,  and marriage.
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Re: Walking by yourself down the isle

posted at 11/20/2009 12:08 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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 Thank you.
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