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The real question is who's really getting married here? you have to do what is right for you and your soon to be....Good luck...
Personally, I think it is very rude to hold a wedding in a place that means your guests will need to spend hundreds of dollars to attend when there is no reason to do it except that you "want to".And, when his family can't afford to go but your family can, it's even worse.I hope you will re-think your decision and have the wedding in a place that BOTH families can attend and go to Jamaica on your honeymoon.
And you have children...think of how you would feel if you weren't able to be at one of their weddings because you couldn't afford it. Best wishes.
I don't think you're being honest about the situation -- your first post is all drama "the whole family is against the DW", "the money's hard..." etc. etc.
Now, your 2nd post is they have plenty of money, they are against the DW because they are going to Florida, etc. etc.
It appears to an outsider that you aren't seeing things clearly and are making up drama that isn't there.
OF COURSE I CAN'T INVITE EVERYONE TO A DW, I WISH I COULD. EVEN IF I DO STAY HERE AND HAVE A WEDDING AND RECEPTION I STILL CAN'T INVITE EVERYONE. WE BOTH COME FROM TWO HUGE FAMILIES. I GUESS HAVING A DW IS MY WAY OF RUNNING FROM ALL OF THE DRAMA OF HURT FEELINGS AND PEOPLE JUST SHOWING UP AND BEING TURNED AWAY AT THE DOOR. IT IS ANY EASY SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEMS. I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I'M JUST BEING A B***H. I REALLY DO WANT TO SEE EVERYONE HAPPY, BUT ABOVE ALL I WANT TO BE HAPPY TOO. SO I FEEL HIS FAMILY SHOULD BE OK WITH WHAT WE WANT WEATHER THEY CAN OR EVEN WANT TO ATTEND. TO ME I SEE IT AS THEY HAVE MADE THERE CHOSE AND THAT IS FLORIDA.SO I THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL OF THE HELP AND BEST WISHES, I THINK I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND.
Well now we seem to be talking about something a little different here - it’s not that you want a huge elaborate wedding in Jamaica, it’s that you actually don’t want a big to-do. That’s a little different.
You don’t owe anyone a big wedding, especially if its funded by you guys and that’s not what you want! I’ve already had this argument with my grandmother regarding inviting every distant relative I happen to be slightly related to by blood but haven’t seen in 10 years, and inviting friends of hers I’ve never met simply because they invited her to their grandkid’s weddings and “that’s what you do”. I have had to just flat out say “we’re paying for this and so therefore we’re not spending $50 a head to feed people who wouldn’t recognize us if they tripped over us at the mall!!
But, there is some compromise to be had if their approval is important to you and their negativity is stressing you out - - and it must be on some level, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. You’re adults and could have gone to the courthouse or Vegas at any time and told them later when it was done with, right?
So maybe you could do Jamaica, just you and the kids and then share a slideshow and go out to dinner with them when you get back.
Or, my idea of a pseudo-DW. You could just have the kids and both your immediate families and rent a house in Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, the Hamptons, Florida, etc and just have a laid back 3 day vacation with everyone, get married by a JOP on the beach the last night, and have a bbq or clambake that night to celebrate. It could be great, 3 days of laying on the beach, cooking meals together, you and the kids could make the wedding cake or some cupcakes together as a family activity, they could decorate the house or yard with some of those paper lanterns or tissue puffs, everyone could take some pictures with their own cameras, and it’s done!
This doesn’t have to be a huge deal to be meaningful to everyone involved. Let us know what you decide!
Patrice, I was just telling you the thing about the caps, it was obvious you didn't know. It was similar to me telling you if you had spinach in your teeth. A kindness to a stranger.Imagine all the people you've annoyed over the years, typing in all caps, and no one told you. Chelle, I agree with you 100% about DWs.
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