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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec

Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

Destination Weddings

Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

<font color="#ffffff">Hopping on a plane headed to paradise? Talk about your destination wedding here.</font>

My fiancee and I want to get married in Jamaica. The problem is all of his family is against it. My family on the other hand is ok with it, they feel like if its what I want then go for it. Iknow it i

True

Destination Weddings

Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

<font color="#ffffff">Hopping on a plane headed to paradise? Talk about your destination wedding here.</font>

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Destination Weddings > Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Destination Weddings > Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/7/2009 3:30 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

classc1

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Last: 10/15/2009

In Response to Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding:

classc1: your attitude is pathetic. What makes you think that all of your friends and family can easily afford to attend your wedding? Of course, if people love you, they want to be there and are probably moving heaven and earth to use precious vacation time as well as precious cash to attend. OR, they cannot attend and feel very sad and left out. (And of course you are labeling them as "grumbling" or not your true blue friends.) Anyone who plans a DW in today's economy is out of her mind unless she and her FI can afford to pay everyone's expenses. You wouldn't expect each of your wedding guests to give you a gift of $1,000. Why would you expect them to spend that to attend? When you were in your friend's wedding, what would you have done if you became suddenly unemployed and had no money to pay for your bridesmaid dress, shower costs, or other expenses for your friend. Would that have meant you loved her any less? I don't think so. Go ahead, have the wedding of your dreams, dear, knowing that you're hurting (in the pocketbook) everyone you supposedly love. Enjoy. When you are grown up, you will look back and be totally embarrassed by your actions, I promise.
Posted by cosmogirl

Excuse me if I do not take my cues from someone so idiotic as to state:

"destination weddings don't cost the couple a thing except their own flight and room. The resort throws in a free wedding because of all the money they make from the guests' bookings."

Clearly, you have NO clue as to what you are talking about. None at all. I notice that you did not respond to my post to you about THAT!!! It is clear to me that for whatever reason you have an issue with people that choose to have DW's. That's fine. However, you do not get to make judgments about people and their choices just because you are cheap of spirit.

Here's the thing...I HOPE that my friends and family can attend...I don't EXPECT a thing. Unlike you, I do not possess a narcissistic personaility. What you seem to forget is that people get a vacation out of the deal....in my case...at rates far cheaper than they otherwise would. This may surprise you, but many people are LOOKING FORWARD to going. That's right. They WANT to come. They want to have a nice vacation and help us celebrate. Also...once again..no one is holding anyone hostage!!! LOL

As I said before...people do EXACTLY what they want to do.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/7/2009 4:20 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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I'm not idiotic. Many resorts do exactly that....they will provide the reception dinner and/or other wedding-related expenses for free. I guess yours does not. Whatever.

There is no right and wrong here. People either think of what's best for their friends and family or they think of what will make them happy on their princess day, regardless of what it will cost their friends and family.

Have a nice life.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/9/2009 10:35 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

AuntThelma

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Last: 11/20/2009

would it be rude to do what we want and not care that his entire family will miss our wedding?

Yes, (in general) t would be rude.

I understand the whole idea - you are thinking of pictures on the beach and romantic sunsets at your wedding. But you can still have pictures on the beach and romantic sunsets - just wait and have them on your honeymoon.

Think how disappointed you would be if someone you loved deliberatly planned their wedding knowing you could not be there.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/9/2009 10:41 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

AuntThelma

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catching up and just saw you are an established couple with children and a home. And you are thinking you really don't need a wedding at all. I agree with you - have a small wedding and take your kids on a great vacation! The whole fam damily doesn't not need to attend!!

Have a lovely wedding day and a wonderful, memorable family vacation!!

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/9/2009 4:34 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

aminapooh

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For one, I cant believe that people come on a destination wedding page and talking about how bad it is and how u shouldn't have a destination wedding.

Selfish...So is it selfish that they want her to have this big wedding back @ home. Its ok for a couple to pay $30,000 to $40,000 for a wedding out of there on pocket for around 150-220 people, but it is not ok for people to come to ur destination wedding for $1,200.00. Give me a break. If my best friend or family would have a destination wedding I would be there with no problem(must make sure u give the people enough time to make payments on it) Girl do u. If u want a DW do it. People are always going to say something about what u do. If u had ur wedding @ home, people would have something to say about that.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/10/2009 12:11 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

AuntThelma

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Last: 11/20/2009

don't miss the point. for some people, a tropical destination wedding is the best answer. I had a friend whose family always spent holidays on a tropical cruise. For her - it was the perfect idea.

BUT - she didn't expect friends to attend. It was a family event. And she and her new husband sponsored the trip for those in his family that couldn't afford it.

The real point is, his family does not want to (or cannot afford to - we're not sure) travel to Jamaca for a wedding. There is an issue and I can understand their side. There are several ways to solve the issue and perhaps the worst is to 'do what we want and oh well, they will miss it.'

One is to have a fun family wedding at home and then go to Jamaica. One is to not have the wedding at all and make it truly intimate. Another is to find out the objections and address them. If people can't afford the cost, help them, if they can't afford the time, then it is a bigger problem.

A destination wedding only works if your guests have the flexibility and means to attend. It should not be a hardship on them.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/15/2009 9:35 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

classc1

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Cosmogirl...it is clear to me from reading this thread and others that you are a jealous hag. WHAT are you doing on the destination wedding boards? Did the love of your life leave you and run off and have a destination wedding?

If a destination wedding is not for you...so be it. However, your irrational rantings about a subject that should hold little or no interest for you is just ridiculous.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/15/2009 9:38 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

classc1

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Last: 10/15/2009

In Response to Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding:

For one, I cant believe that people come on a destination wedding page and talking about how bad it is and how u shouldn't have a destination wedding. Selfish...So is it selfish that they want her to have this big wedding back @ home. Its ok for a couple to pay $30,000 to $40,000 for a wedding out of there on pocket for around 150-220 people, but it is not ok for people to come to ur destination wedding for $1,200.00. Give me a break. If my best friend or family would have a destination wedding I would be there with no problem(must make sure u give the people enough time to make payments on it) Girl do u. If u want a DW do it. People are always going to say something about what u do. If u had ur wedding @ home, people would have something to say about that.
Posted by aminapooh

ITA.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/26/2009 7:41 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Amanda Barefoot...

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Some membersof my family weren't too keen on the idea og my FH and I getting married by ourselves in Mexico. All I can say Is that if this is what you guys know you want, GO FOR IT. This is your wedding, you do it the way you want! We are getting DVD's made of our ceremony so that the peoiple we love can watch it later on... but as far as we are concerned, this day is about us and no one else. We have now been engaged over 4 years (FINALLY only 4 months to go) and everyone is pretty much okay with it. I took my mother dress shopping with me. That's the extent of her involvment aside from taking Our 2 children for the time we are gone. Anyway, having said we have been engaged 4 years, we have had a few weddings that were bookjed and cancelled due to financial reasons. Every time I startd planning again after a cancelled affair, I would start with the idea of getting married close to home, and I would get sick to my stomach just thinking about all that goes into planning a traditional sort of wedding. I'm so very happy I didn't get discouraged by the complaints of our family members, because I am looking forward to our big day- not like most others I know who wanted nothing more than to get the damn thing over with. This is OUR day- not theirs. Remember that!

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/27/2009 1:59 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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Last: 11/20/2009

Actually, my mission in life is to save the world, one wedding at a time. My immediate goal is to seek out and destroy all brides who utter the words "it's my day and I can do whatever I want, who cares how it affects anyone else".

Peace and love,

Cosmo (a/k/a The Jealous Hag.)

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 10/28/2009 11:33 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

935572760745308...

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I am having the exact same problem. My fiance & I decided to get married in Mexico this coming March 2010 (since this is my second wedding & we have to pay for it ourselves this time.) and only a handful of people can make it while others are upset that they can't either afford it or get the time off to make it. After alot of consideration we just decided this wedding is about us and people who can't make it can come to a small party we will be throwing a few months after we return from the honeymoon. After all, if this is something that is important to you, than that is all that matters.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 11/7/2009 9:04 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

lolacat

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Stop being SO RUDE! If someone wants to have a destination wedding, who are we to say that they are out of their mind's? How would you feel if you were being told where you could and could not have your wedding? No one is "expecting" anything. If her guests can attend, great! If not, I'm sure she will understand. Cosmogirl, you're being incredibly judgemental and down right mean.

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Re: Family not agreeing on a destination wedding

posted at 11/9/2009 5:17 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

BlissHoneymoons

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Last: 11/9/2009

If it's your dream to get married on a beautiful beach somewhere, then you should follow your dream. Hopefully you will only have one wedding, so it should be the one that you want.
I've worked a lot of destination weddings. I currently have two groups that couldn't be more opposite. One group of about 25 people is very excited about having a darn good excuse to go to Mexico spend time with family and friends they rarely get to see. Another group seems to be really struggling to just make the deposits. I expect less than half of the guest list to actually commit to going.
What many couples do is travel for their destination wedding, and throw a fanstastic reception for those who wanted to recognize their big day, but were not able to make the trip. That way no one feels left out or slighted if they were not able to go. Many resorts now offer live web feed of your wedding too, so if someone back home wants to watch it live, they can.
Best of luck to you no matter what you decide to do!

Creating significant trips for you and your significant other.
www.BlissHoneymoons.com

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