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Going through a lot of changes

Emotional Support

Going through a lot of changes

<font color="#ffffff">Need some bridal therapy? Talk here.</font>

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Emotional Support

Going through a lot of changes

<font color="#ffffff">Need some bridal therapy? Talk here.</font>

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Emotional Support > Going through a lot of changes

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Emotional Support > Going through a lot of changes

Going through a lot of changes

posted at 11/5/2009 5:10 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

arzel

Joined on
07-19-2009
CENTRAL CALIFORNIA

5599836378470020

Posts: 25

First: 7/23/2009

Last: 11/11/2009

I don't know why but I have been in such a strange mood recently. My self-esteem seems to have gone compleatly bye-bye. I just feel stuck in a rut. My fiancee is such an amazing guy and I can't help but feel like he desirves some hot chick not me. (this is NOT based on anything he is done its all me just being paraniod.) I just wish I could talk to him about this I am so so afraid of what his reaction will be.

I have been feeling really down espically about my mother. I just wish more then anything I could tell her about the great Photographer I got for really cheap or joke about how wedding dresses feel like they weight the same as a small child. We went into Michaels the other day for some scrapbooking stuff and I wanted to cry because I wished I could have dragged her into the next aile and show her the amazing favors. I wish I could share this experance with her and yet she won't let me.

Not to mention I am have second thoughts about my dress, I haven't ordered it yet but a few weeks ago I was 100% sure and now I almost feel like I let my MOH's oppinions override my own.

Sorry this is so long I am just going though crazy changes,

my dearest friend if you don't mind
i'd Like to Join you by your side
where we can gaze into the stars
and sit together now and forever
for it is plain as anyone can see
were simply meant to be

Mrs. Turner on June 5 2010

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Re: Going through a lot of changes

posted at 11/5/2009 6:55 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

Lorie0322

Joined on
02-04-2008
ST. LOUIS

8521377378392343

Posts: 1071

First: 5/9/2009

Last: 11/20/2009

Sorry you're going through such a hard time. I know you're feeling down right now and vulnerable but try and talk to your fiance. Tell him how you feel and to please not make fun of you or make light of your issues. Part of being partners for life is helping each other through tough times.

Maybe I missed something about your mom. Is she purposefully not involved at all in the wedding? I'm not sure what to say about that.

My mom wasn't all about the details either. She kept asking why we didn't elope. At first I was upset about it. I'd ask her "don't you want to be there for your daughters first marriage?" She would never give me a direct answer. Neither of my parents were too excited, even on the day of the wedding. It was weird and disappointing but I had to let it go. They like my hubby a lot so it wasn't that. I have no clue what their deal was.

You are hilarious. A wedding dress does weigh as much as a small child!!

I'm sure your fiance thinks you are a hot chick! Please talk to him and you can always come back here. We'll do what we can.

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Re: Going through a lot of changes

posted at 11/5/2009 11:25 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

arzel

Joined on
07-19-2009
CENTRAL CALIFORNIA

5599836378470020

Posts: 25

First: 7/23/2009

Last: 11/11/2009

I posted a whole other thing about my mom. Shes just being irrational and refuses to have anything to do with the wedding. She said she won't even come to the wedding that is going to be at my grandparents ranch which is where she lives!

Thanks for your advice. I did talk to my fiancee and he said "I don't want some skinny preppy chick. I want beautiful, sexy clumsy you." He made me feel A LOT better.

I just wish I wasn't in such a rut. I wish I could be happy ya know

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Re: Going through a lot of changes

posted at 11/6/2009 8:44 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

shelle1214

Joined on
08-03-2009
BALTIMORE

9503848837582757

Posts: 313

First: 8/3/2009

Last: 11/18/2009

Do you think it would help at all if you expressed these feelings to your mom? If you told her that this was something you wished so bad she could be a part of and how you miss her being there to pick things out with you? It may warm her a litte bit, you never know unless you try.

We all have our down in the dumps moments, but it's good that your FI made you feel better about that. Always just know that you get what you give, and as long as you love him, he doesn't need or deserve anything else. With your FI you know that you are not alone. Even if your life and emotions feel crazy, you still have your partner to go through it with you. Even if he doesn't feel like you are feeling, he is still there for you. Lean on him and let him help.

Besides that there is always us. I know we are strangers, but sometimes it helps settle your mind to be able to get things off your chest.

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Re: Going through a lot of changes

posted at 11/6/2009 4:22 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

arzel

Joined on
07-19-2009
CENTRAL CALIFORNIA

5599836378470020

Posts: 25

First: 7/23/2009

Last: 11/11/2009

Thank you guys for your advice.

I have tried talking to her about it but it always ends in an argument where we are in each others faces and screaming. I decited I was going to just stop talking about it to her and just let her try to come back to me about it. If she doesn't say anything else by three months until the wedding then I will ask her about it. If she started yelling at me I am just going to walk away. Its going to be hard but I want to be the bigger person.

I am so thankful to have this site. I have been having some problems with my friends latley and it feels like I have no one to talk to but everyone on here is sooo friendly and gives such good advice. So THANK YOU!!

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Re: Going through a lot of changes

posted at 11/6/2009 4:33 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

Joined on
08-31-2007
KANSAS CITY

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Posts: 80

First: 5/8/2009

Last: 11/18/2009

arzel,

Sounds to me like you've got a great guy!!!!!

On your mom....unfortunately, we don't get to pick our family. And she's not likely to change. If she does then great, but I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment and pain by even hoping or thinking of her doing typical wedding stuff with you. This really has nothing to do with you or your wedding--it's your mother's own issues and mental illness at work. You need to remind yourself of this, and stop taking it personally and try to move on. I know that's easy to say and hard to do...just keep in mind that it's not YOU.

On dresses...well, I've been married a year & a half now and I'm still not sure I made the right decision, LOL!!!! But I thought your dress looked lovely!!!!!

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