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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec

Too many concerns

Emotional Support

Too many concerns

<font color="#ffffff">Need some bridal therapy? Talk here.</font>

 Okay here's the deal.... I got engaged on my BDay in May we were excited and finally set a date in July.... for Aug 2010. Found out is was pregnant at the end of July. I am now 6mo. having&

False

Emotional Support

Too many concerns

<font color="#ffffff">Need some bridal therapy? Talk here.</font>

 Okay here's the deal.... I got engaged on my BDay in May we were excited and finally set a date in July.... for Aug 2010. Found out is was pregnant at the end of July. I am now 6mo. having&

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:851efcf2-ae7a-42b6-9b68-fa58d4dad4d2

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:851efcf2-ae7a-42b6-9b68-fa58d4dad4d2Discussion:af53cf5b-702f-4b07-83be-4285dab84333

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Emotional Support > Too many concerns

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Emotional Support > Too many concerns

Too many concerns

posted at 11/3/2009 8:29 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

ErickaW

Joined on
05-29-2009
TENNESSEE

6351792117623518

Posts: 20

First: 10/9/2009

Last: 11/19/2009

Okay here's the deal.... I got engaged on my BDay in May we were excited and finally set a date in July.... for Aug 2010. Found out is was pregnant at the end of July. I am now 6mo. having a girl and we are still excited for both . However i'm not interested in planning for the wedding anymore and i am afraid that we are not going to be able to afford a wedding. I dont express my concerns with him because i dont want him to think i'm backing out. I just don't think it's in our best interest to have the wedding next year. I have alot of the wedding already planned out and my family is supper excited. What do u think.....

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Re: Too many concerns

posted at 11/3/2009 8:41 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

misma09

Joined on
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LANSING

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First: 6/16/2009

Last: 11/20/2009

I think you and your FH need to sit and talk about how much the wedding is going to cost you, and where you stand on finances. Only you and your FH know your personal finances.

You may have to scale down what you were planning, or change a couple of things, but it's doable.

You NEED to talk about your concerns with your DH. Good communication is very important in a good marriage, and when raising a child. Don't let something come between you b/c you are not willing to talk about it.

A wedding is doable, it just depends on how big and lavish you want it. Talk it over with those who care about you and go from there.

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Re: Too many concerns

posted at 11/3/2009 8:54 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

LittleBean

Joined on
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RHODE ISLAND

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First: 5/7/2009

Last: 11/20/2009

I think you should talk to your fiance about your worries - better to tell him your thoughts and concerns rather than keeping them all bottled up. You're both going to need to talk about difficult things like finances down the road, so you might as well start learning how to have conversations like that now. Just because you talk about things doesn't mean you doubt your relationship.

I also think you should have your wedding as planned in August, but maybe scale it back a little; make it simpler and more affordable. Your post doesn't specify what kind of a wedding you were planning, or if you've already put deposits on a venue, etc., but if at all possible, maybe just have a simple ceremony and a casual at-home reception. Your friends and family will know you've just had a baby, so no one is going to judge you for a low-key affair.

If you feel like you can't deal with the added stress of planning a wedding, maybe ask your mother or other family members for help. Since you said they're super-excited, I suspect they'd be more than happy to lend a hand.

Regardless of the "tone" of the wedding, though, I definately think you should get married now, rather than putting it off. I just think it would be too easy to put it off indefinately as you get caught up in all your other responsibilities.

Good luck. :)

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Re: Too many concerns

posted at 11/3/2009 10:11 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

ErickaW

Joined on
05-29-2009
TENNESSEE

6351792117623518

Posts: 20

First: 10/9/2009

Last: 11/19/2009

Thank you for responding.... We have talked about it and we do have a budget. He thinks i'm just over reacting. He's better with the finances than I am.It's just i did't expect a child so soon. I have placed deposits on vensues, etc. I basically have to bring everything together. My familly and friends want to help out as much as possible but his mom want us to get married before the baby is born. LOL

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Re: Too many concerns

posted at 11/3/2009 10:24 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

misma09

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Last: 11/20/2009

In Response to Re: Too many concerns:

Thank you for responding.... We have talked about it and we do have a budget. It's just i did't expect a child to pop up sooo soon. I have placed deposits on vensues, etc. i basically have to bring the reception together with little odds and ends. My familly and friends want to help out as much as possible but his mom is pretty negative. She want us to get married before the baby is born. LOL
Posted by ErickaW

Ok, I'm confused now. You have talked about it, but in your first post you said that you hadn't voiced your concerns with him. You need to.

You have a budget - but you are scraping the reception together with odds and ends? I take that to mean your budget was pre-pregnancy. Obviously, if you're concerned, you need a new budget.

Lots of people don't expect children to come when they do. I didn't expect to find out I was preg 4 days after our wedding. Even tho we are married, we still have a lot of adjusting to do in our lives. You can get married, you just need a new plan.

If your FMIL is not supportive, then don't lean on her. Go to those who want to help and see what they are willing to give. If you let them help you, you should be bringing anything together with odds and ends, and overstressing about this.

So, sit down with your FH first, and then maybe with your family, and set down a new budget and a new plan. Things do change and people realize that. Voice your concerns to your FH. In your op you said you hadn't. You need to.

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Re: Too many concerns

posted at 11/3/2009 11:07 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

efriedrich90024...

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Last: 11/13/2009

Erika, it sounds to me like you don't want a wedding. that doesn't mean you don't want to get married, you just don't want the affair. why don't you just have a JOP with your family there or something equally low key.

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