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Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?
Emotional Support
Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?
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Emotional Support
Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?
<font color="#ffffff">Need some bridal therapy? Talk here.</font>
I'll post the poll, you post your opinion. I&rsquo;ll only make it sticky for a week and change them up, so look for sound off polls on the appropriate boards. Vote below ( if you only see the results
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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:851efcf2-ae7a-42b6-9b68-fa58d4dad4d2
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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Emotional Support > Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

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Forums  >  General Wedding Planning Topics  >  Emotional Support  >  Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 10:04 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I'll post the poll, you post your opinion. I’ll only make it sticky for a week and change them up, so look for sound off polls on the appropriate boards. Vote below (if you only see the results, make sure you're logged in by clicking on the "log in" button in the upper right hand corner) and feel free to add your opinion!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 11:00 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My FI did and I'm glad. I know some people think this is an old school tradition, but my dad is old school and my BIL never asked him and my dad never let him live it down. FI and my dad had a semi-estranged relationship and their talk really helped them understand each other better. I never asked what was said though. I feel like that is something between the two of them and should be kept that way.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 11:21 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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DH did not ask for my father's permission or blessing, but later said he wished he'd had done so as a gesture of respect (personally, I was ambivalent and could've lived with or without it happening).

However, I mentioned DH's comments in passing to my rather reserved father, and he said he was just as glad it hadn't happened, as such a conversation would've made him very uncomfortable!   :)  

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 11:40 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My DH didn't so much as ask for permission as ask for a blessing.

He actually proposed to me the night before, but had wanted to wait to "do it right", just got too excited. So he made me promise not to say anything until he went over to my parents house the next day.

My mother thinks she is the first one to try on my ring....I never corrected her.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 11:50 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My DH did ask or at least let my dad know his intentions to propose. He knew he didn't have to, but i think my dad appreciated the gesture. He does get kudos as the only of their 3 SILs to ask.
~Amanda

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 2:53 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My FI called to ask my father, and I was exstatic that he did. My dad is super old fashioned, even if he doesn't come off that way. It was such a joy to be able to call them and tell them he had asked me, and be able to share the excitement despite living so far away from them.

In addition to that - my FI also had his grandmother's ring reconstructed into a ring in my style, which is also a huge tradition in my family. Too bad my great grandmother's gorgeous lace dress is too small for me, or I'd wear that too. (My mother is 5'2'' and I'm 5'6'' so there's really no way.)
If god is a dj, and life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm, and you are the music.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 3:50 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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YES!!!!!   FI really wanted to come by my parent's house and ask my dad in person but his work schedule was CRAZY at the time so he ended up calling him the Monday before he poped the question.....and almost blew the suprise for me, b/c i was home and dad just happend to get to the phone before me.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 4:35 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I think asking the brides father is a huge sign of respect. Unfortunately my fiance and I live three thousand miles away from my family, and they didn't get to meet until after he had asked for permission.  But my fiance called my father anyway and asked for his blessing. My father was suprised but he said it showed a lot of character for my fiance to be able to do that!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 6:45 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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There should be an "other" response button.  My father isn't in the picture but my fiance did talk to my mom about it.  He didn't really ASK her but he told her about his plan to propose and asked for her help.  He asked her to pick out some dresses for the surprise dinner he took me on.  That meant a lot to me.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/2/2009 8:58 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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Since my fiance only met my Dad 2 days before the wedding, he asked for my parents blessing on our marrage, which they promptly replied, 'yes'.
Mrs. Jean Flores
October 25, 2009

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 6:58 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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No.  I am a grown woman and the only person giving me permission to marry is ME. 

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 8:17 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I'm with you, Lorie.  I lived on my own for years, owned my own place, etc.  I didn't need permission or my parents' blessing to get married.  I'd probably have been annoyed if DH had called and asked for permission or a blessing BEFORE asking me personally.  I am close to my parents, but come on!  I was 34 when I got engaged.  I was and am more than capable of making my own decisions, esp about something as life altering as marriage.

My parents think my DH is the cat's meow, btw.  Had they not, they would have told me long before we got engaged [we got engaged after 1.5 years of dating] and I would have factored that into my opinion about him. Had I disagreed w/ their opinion [ie, if they didn't like him], I likely would have married him anyway.  The only person who needs to approve of your DH or FI is you, since you are marrying him.  Unless you have all of your friends and family trying to talk you out of marrying someone bc there are huge red flags that you can't see because you are wearing blinders or rose colored glasses, chances are you are seeing the man for who he really is and can make up your mind accordingly. 

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 9:52 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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he called my father.  my dad appreciated the gesture, but had said previously it wasn't necessary.  mom and dad knew we were talking about getting married and they love him, so he had his answer before he even called. 

meanwhile, he called my dad the day before father's day.  when i called my dad to say "happy father's day", he was so afraid he was going to blow the surprise and say something that he hung up on me! 

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 10:30 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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He asked my MOM's permission:)

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 11:04 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I love it when this question comes up because it begs the discussion of what happens when dad says no.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 12:20 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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Mine's a bit of a sad story.  My fiance and I have dated for 11 years, since high school.  He knew my dad well and I know my dad assumed that we would get married eventually.  Unfortunately, my father got sick several years ago and 4 years ago this February, he stopped breathing in the hospital and was placed on life support.  After it was decided that he would not recover, my family made the decision to take him off life support and let him go.  The night before he died, my fiance (then BF) and I went to the hospital to say our last goodbyes privately.  While we were there, even though he couldn't hear him, my fiance told my father how much he loved me, how he promised to take care of me and that he would like to get married, and he asked for a sign of a blessing.  My father squeezed my hand and his heart monitor made an abnormal "jump".  We took it as a sign he approved.
Two and a half years later, September 2008, when he had the ring and was ready to propose, my fiance went to my mom and asked for her blessing.  He told her of the night before my dad died, and my father's "reply".  She happily gave her blessing.  He proposed that night, on our 10th Anniversary.  We are getting married next August, the day after my dad's birthday.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 1:27 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My hubby did!  Sure it's an old-school custom, but it helps to get the parents on board from the get-go!  It alleviates all of that wanting to be with your family after you get married, what you think you'll just live your life with him alone??

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

~ Mrs K ~
 ~ March 21st 2009 ~

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 2:27 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My fiance and I had already talked about getting married so he asked my father's blessing not permission because he didn't want to undermine what I wanted.
Turns out that my fiance didn't really have to ask, he told my dad that he had something to talk to him about and my dad simply said yes. He knew it was going to happen and loves my fiance like a son.
Plus, I love that my fiance was respectful and traditional even though neither of us needed permission.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 3:01 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I have been with my fiance for almost 6 years.  My dad loves him and he loves my dad...my father knows that we want to get married, has bought my dress for me already and is giving us the down payment for our venue...envetho the ring has not been presented to me or my father yet I'm hoping that my fiance will at least attempt to "talk" to my dad about his proposal before he does his thing...I won't be upset if he doesn't but it is old school...BUT I still count it under R-E-S-P-E-C-T and being the "only" child and a girl at that...I think my dad will prolly be brought to tears when he sees my ring, just like I know I will...yeah he better go ahead and get'er done on that one!  Ask my pappy first!  Better yet, ask both of my parents because they will most likely be helping us with costs the most!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/3/2009 11:15 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I'm not sure how my fiance worded it, as I was not there, but he did take my dad aside and say something to him. I was told later that my dad's response was something along the lines of "Oh damn, that means I have to sit next to her mother during your wedding, huh?" They're divorced and don't quite get along. Hahah

Both mother and father love my fiance though, so thats all that matters. It was not necessary for him to ask my dad, and I do think its old-fashioned, but I'm sure my dad appreciated it. He has 2 daughters and being the youngest, I know I'm still his baby girl. My sister hasn't gotten married yet so this is all new to him.
I do hope he appreciated what my fiance did though. I'm sure it was awkward, especially after that comment he made. Lol.

December 31, 2010 <3

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/4/2009 12:07 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My dad put it a really good way (when my sisters EX DIDN'T ask).  He said, first, that it shows the highest respect for the bride.

He said it's the best way to get some balls before the big day - the kind you need in order to be married.  That, as a groom, it was a lot more difficult to ask his FIL (my grandpa - who has a very mild and accepting personality) than to ask my mom.

He also said it is a MUST if any parents are going to have financial contributions for the wedding.  It's respectful in that it shows respect for the time, energy, stress, and financial contributions of the entire family.

Needless to say, my FH asked - and things have been golden with him and my dad ever since.  I also asked my FH's parents... and I can't wait to join our families!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/4/2009 8:28 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My FH did.  He has a huge amount of respect for my dad. I've been out of the house for years, have my own place, etc. FH didn't care. He said that my dad means as much to me as he does, and that if he didn't give the blessing it just wouldn't feel right to propose. It drove my parents crazy because they had to keep the secret for a week before I got engaged.

I think that it's an awesome sign of respect not only to the father but to the bride.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/5/2009 3:52 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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MY fiance did ask!  He said that he wouldn't propose to me without my dad's permission.  He actually went out and asked him as my dad was working on stuff outside.  Said he felt safer away from all the guns.  Lol.  He had nothing to worry about though.  My dad said yes and told my FH that he was more than happy to have him as part of the family.  (He finally had a hunting buddy that he didn't have to beg to go.)  He also told him that there are no returns allowed!!  Lol!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/5/2009 7:05 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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I've never been close with my dad and he would probably think my fiance was just crazy. But he did ask my mom!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/6/2009 10:31 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My husband took both of my parents out to dinner and told them he planned to propose. It was more like asking for their blessing, not permission. They thought it was so cool, and it is a memory they will always cherish. I think my mom would have been offended if he had only spoken to my dad.

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/6/2009 11:26 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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Yes, my fiance' asked both of my parents, and the funny part is my parents are divorced, so he set up a lunch date with us all, then once we settled down, he asked my parents for my hand in marriage and their blessing!  they both agreed, and we are getting married October 2, 2010. :)

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/6/2009 11:34 AM CST on weddingchannel.com
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my fiance asked both my mom and step-dad at the same time. unfortunately, my mother who was 2 drinks deep was a little more than suspicious when my cousin (MOH) and i came back to the table. she was trying to mouth at me "GO AWAY" and i couldn't figure out what she was saying, so she yelled it. i looked at my fiance and his face said everything. lol. it was priceless. i got all giddy, grabbed my cousin's hand and ran downstairs.

my parents love him and i knew they would say yes to him asking. it was just nice to have the old school feeling about it. i think its respectful and i love that he has been accepted into my family with open and loving arms. :)

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/6/2009 12:34 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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It would have been RIDICULOUS for Adam to ask my dad. I would have been furious because I'm the only one to answer that question- my parents have nothing to do with that one, sorry. Plus....we didn't ask my dad if he could get me pregnant and start a family before getting married, so it would have been doubly ridiculous. I think my dad would have said NO if he had been asked only because if a man didn't know me well enough to know my feelings on that, my dad would have known he wasn't the right guy for me anyway. So Adam didn't ask and my dad is thrilled with my choice in a man. 

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/6/2009 12:41 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My fiance called my parents (on their 37th anniversary!) and asked for their blessing, not their permission, the day before he asked me to marry him.  Apparently there was a lot of giggling on my parents' end of the phone line.
Counting down to 4/3/10!

Re: Poll of the Week: Did he ask for Dad's permission?

posted at 11/6/2009 12:42 PM CST on weddingchannel.com
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My FI did ask my dad, but it was not in secret.  I knew that I wanted my fiance' to ask my dad when the time came, so when we went ring shopping together I told him that this had to be done.  We ended up going out to a nice dinner with my dad, and Jared started the converstation.  It ended up being a really nice talk about my dad's expectations and thoughts on marriage.  I wouldn't take that back for anything.
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