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post-wedding gratuity issue
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post-wedding gratuity issue
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Aargh! My husband and I are wrangling with our reception venue about an over-tipping issue, and I don't know if I'm right or wrong in pursuing it. Prior to the wedding, we were already planning on pay
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Emotional Support
post-wedding gratuity issue
<font color="#ffffff">Need some bridal therapy? Talk here.</font>
Aargh! My husband and I are wrangling with our reception venue about an over-tipping issue, and I don't know if I'm right or wrong in pursuing it. Prior to the wedding, we were already planning on pay
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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:851efcf2-ae7a-42b6-9b68-fa58d4dad4d2
Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:851efcf2-ae7a-42b6-9b68-fa58d4dad4d2Discussion:99494c0b-b68e-4096-91c0-9bdb439f5d30
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post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 9:41 AM CDT
on weddingchannel.com
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RHODE ISLAND 5314342666184843
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Aargh! My husband and I are wrangling with our reception venue about an over-tipping issue, and I don't know if I'm right or wrong in pursuing it.
Prior to the wedding, we were already planning on paying for the food and alcohol (obviously), a cake-plating fee, 8% tax, and 20% tip. We gave $1000 deposit a few months before. Then, at the end of the reception, we were presented with what I thought was a confusingly-constructed bill (but maybe I was just tired, hee hee). The venue owner asked my husband if he "could do a bit better" for her staff, and he gave her a check for quite a bit more. I thought the total seemed high, but figured maybe I'd miscalculated our original estimate.
Then, the day after our wedding, we got an email from the venue owner, asking if we'd forgotten about the $1000 deposit and tipped more than we'd intended to, adding that she'd be happy to send a check back if necessary. We looked at the figures again, and that's exactly what happened. So, we asked her to send $500 back - even with that, my husband was still giving her more than $800 over the "actual" bill.
Now, a month later, the venue owner is claiming we told her we didn't need any money back, and really laying on a guilt trip about how hard her staff worked, how she'd given us bargain-basement pricing for the reception as it was, etc., etc. I'm not denying that everything went well, but I just feel that she's being kind of unfair, since SHE was the one who alerted us to the over-tipping in the first place, and it's not like we're asking for all our money back, either. I know $500 might not be much to some people, but it really would make a world of difference for us to have it returned.
Sorry this post is long and confusing, but any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 10:00 AM CDT
on weddingchannel.com
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First of all, if I am reading this right, I think it was rude to come up and ask your husband for more when they knew he would be tired, (and probably have a little alcohol in his system). I also think it was rude to ask for more int he first place, after you had an agreed upon amount (or percentage) that you would be paying.
Did you save any e-mails that you had written when this happened? That would be easier to show her what your origional reply was.
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 10:24 AM CDT
on weddingchannel.com
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Misma, I do have the original emails, and I have sent them back to the owner, but I think she kind of acts flakey when it suits her, so she's kind of hemming and hawing, saying she didn't receive the communication, didn't understand it, blah blah blah. We realized she has a scattered personality when we first began dealing with her, but now it's kind of feeling like a fantasy world, because she's claiming things that are blatantly untrue.
I suspect she will send us the money in the end, but by playing dumb now, she's making it into this long, arduous process. Both my husband and I feel a little cheesey by asking for the $500 back, but at the same time I feel like we're just letting ourselves get ripped off if we don't fight her.
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 10:29 AM CDT
on weddingchannel.com
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I agree, it was a little rude to approach you with something like that...if you had on your own offered a bigger tip, ok, but to actually ask for more???? Who does that? I would make a copy of all the e-mails back and forth and then send them to her/him by "snailmail", or just stop by if it's not out of your way....almost makes you want to ask for the whole 1000 back now....sounds like she needs to "juggle" her books a little,hmmm, Good Luck with it.
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 1:39 PM CDT
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Little Bean, that sounds incredibly rude to me. First of all we paid the final payment to the venue two weeks in advance to avoid this type of thing. Gratuities were built in to our cost as well. We only gave extra tips to those we wanted to, beside the minister and the bartenders (given) we tipped the coordinator since she was extremely fabulous and the DJ since he was great too.
If the manager of the venue would have come to me at the end of the reception asking for more tips I'm not sure what we would have done. I find that to be terribly rude.
Send a letter to the BBB and CC her. The problem will be corrected pretty quickly I suspect!
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 2:31 PM CDT
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Send a letter to the BBB and CC her. The problem will be corrected pretty quickly I suspect!
All you have to do probably threaten her with that. She will probably stop being flaky then.
I used to waitress, and also worked at a banquet hall. I NEVER would ask anyone for a tip. Actually, when I cashed people out, I felt wierd asking them to fill out the bottom total, if there wasn't a tip written: we needed that to fill in for credit cards. (And it's safer to have soemthing written there)
But you never ask for money. My bet is that she was planning on keeping the extra for herself - it probably is not in the books. Most people would not go out of their way to make money for someone else, especially when you gave them a generous tip already.
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 2:41 PM CDT
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Little Bean, send her another email stating that you thought matter was settled in prior communications and that you had agreed that she would be sending you the extra $500 back. Tell her that if the $500 is not returned to you w/in 7 days that you will consult your attorney regarding how to proceed. I guarantee that your funds will be in the mail immediately.
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Re: post-wedding gratuity issue
posted at 7/24/2009 7:06 PM CDT
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Actually, LittleBean, I would let her know that if she doesn't refund the $500 agreed upon, that you will then request the full $1,000 overcharge.
She was extremely rude to ask your DH for anything more at the reception. It is standard protocol that the bill includes taxes and 20% gratuity. Her staff is expected to give their all, to do their best. Does she realize that in this business, word of mouth is very important? She surely is not expecting to get any referrals from you after this faux pas.
My reception venue let me know that everything had to be paid for prior to the reception, and that unless I brought a herd of extra guests to the venue (above the 200 expected guests), I would not see another bill from them. They gave me a complete easy-to-read itemized bill with my initial deposit. That's how business is done.
Send her copies of the e-mails via certified mail (that way, you have proof that she received the mail), and let her know that you are expecting your refund in 7 business days. Let her know "I would hate to have to resort to legal channels. Let us settle this matter as adults." I hope she gets the message.
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