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I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?
General Wedding Etiquette
I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?
<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>
We are going for a very classy look/feel wedding. And everything is black and white, is it ok to ask our guests to please follow a dress code of only black and white also?
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General Wedding Etiquette
I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?
<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>
We are going for a very classy look/feel wedding. And everything is black and white, is it ok to ask our guests to please follow a dress code of only black and white also?
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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8
Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:0b65b6b9-c7e6-4c94-9e70-db965723ce2d

Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

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I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 3:53 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 We are going for a very classy look/feel wedding. And everything is black and white, is it ok to ask our guests to please follow a dress code of only black and white also?
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 4:10 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 In Response to I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?:
We are going for a very classy look/feel wedding. And everything is black and white, is it ok to ask our guests to please follow a dress code of only black and white also?
Posted by zanderw




No.



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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 6:09 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Edicate for the most part dictates that you should not put on your invatation a dress code. However, if people ask you about your wedding, you could say something like, "we are having a black and white themed wedding, if you want to follow along with it that would be great!" If someone is planning on throwing you a shower maybe they will keep up with the theme too, and that could also let the guests know that the wedding will be along the same line.

The bottom line is that you should not outright tell your guests how to dress. It should be their choice. If they want to follow the theme great, but don't force them.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 6:11 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Agreed: nope, you can't dictate what colors they can and cannot wear.

They'll look fine in anything.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 6:12 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Nope.  Keep the theme with other aspects of your wedding.  Guests aren't part of the decor.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 8:10 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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I think actually this could work if you handle it properly.

[In the words of Hillary Clinton, I'm donning my "asbestos pantsuit" now, because dress code always seems to be a heated issue...]   :-P

As Misma said, get the word out, but don't FORCE people to wear black and white, and don't insist on it being uber-formal. For example, if I was a guest and could wear a black sundress with white polka dots (that I own), I'd probably think a black & white wedding was kind of fun and old-Hollywood glam...if I was told I must wear an evening gown (something I don't own), not so much. I know that a tradtional 40's black & white wedding was very high glamour, but I think you should leave the very fancy look to the bridal party, venue, invitations, etc. Let your guests play along at a more casual level if they want to (and don't be upset if they don't).
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 8:50 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 You can ask, but a goodly number of your guests will think you're a weirdo if you do.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/29/2009 11:02 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 my wedding was also black and white themed.  I didn't ask for a dress code but I wish it wasn't improper and I could have!  Half the guests showed up in jean shorts!  For half a second it bothered me...but I imagine it bothered them more when they saw how formal everything else was.

No.  You shouldn't ask them to.  But you can spread from word of mouth.  I am certain someone will ask your parents or his parents what they should wear and just have them say it would nice to add a touch of the theme to their outfit of choice.
...Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy...
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 6:16 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 no.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 9:44 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 We have been to a couple of themed weddings.  One was held on a horse farm and the other was based around swing dance.  For both, the invites made it clear that guests were more than welcome to dress the part if they so chose but neither invite made it sound like it was necessary for admission.  Our wedding was a country western themed wedding and we didn't even mention attire on our invites.  We had people calling us asking if it was okay if they wore their western gear (cowboy hats, boots, etc.).  We said it was absolutely fine if they wanted to. 

I think it's okay to get the word out that guests are welcome to wear black and white if they want to but in no way make it sound like it's necessary.

Nikki :D
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 1:10 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Misma - "edicate"????  Do you mean "etiquette?"
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 1:33 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 No you can't dictate what people wear to the wedding. However just like with registry cards or information (which ediquite dictates are inappropriate to include with the wedding invitations) you could have friends and family spreading the word about the theme of the wedding so that people could choose to dress along with the theme.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 1:37 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Unfortunately, no.

You can have a theme for your wedding/reception, but it's upto your guests who have been asked to come to your wedding to bestow their blessings onto your and your DF union, that they can feel to wear their Sunday's best.

I question your question, are your guests props or actual guests? 

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

~ Mrs K ~
 ~ March 21st 2009 ~
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 2:29 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Yes I do mean "etiquette". I also know how to spell...for the most part. Sorry if you are offended. Must have had a brain lapse.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 6/30/2009 2:53 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I agree that you can't and shouldn't try to "force" guests to wear something, and say "No admission unless you wear...."

However, I don't see what's the big rage against inviting your guests to follow the theme if they choose. I am definitely planning on inviting my guests to dress in my theme colors. One reason is because I'm planning a relative small wedding. I will only have a few people in my bridal party, but I still want all my cousins and good friends to feel that they are a intimately involved, and I think this is a great way to let them. 

I think that it will be a lot of fun, look great in the pictures, and I also have one last thing to add: DO WHAT YOU WANT ON YOUR WEDDING. This is your day, and as long as you're not doing something grotesque, don't allow yourself to be limited by the traditions and conventions that others want to restrict you with.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/1/2009 9:21 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 "DO WHAT YOU WANT ON YOUR WEDDING. This is your day, and as long as you're not doing something grotesque, don't allow yourself to be limited by the traditions and conventions that others want to restrict you with."

This mind set is what is wrong with most brides these days.

"It's my day so I will do whatever the h*ll I want no matter what anyone else says"

blog post photo
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/1/2009 10:51 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Thank you all for the answers/opinions! It is our wedding and our day but of coarse we dont want to limit our guests! Again thank you for the input! 
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/1/2009 3:01 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Well, if it's a more formal wedding, I think you can ask them. Black and white is super easy to do (c'mon, who doesn't own a black dress, or and what guy doesn't own a pair of black pants and a white button down shirt?)

I think it would be fun. It's not like you're saying everyone dress in 1920's period costume.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/1/2009 5:16 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 The issue for this though is that:

1) Many women are anti-wearing white to weddings as that competes with the bride.

2) Some people just don't own black because they don't like how they look in it.  (I know a few women who feel that it washes them out).

If you know guests who fall into 1&2, you're making them feel very guilty and they may need to go out to buy a dress to fit the occasion as they'd have dressier attire in colors. 

For men, it can be a huge pain.  DH does not own a black suit or black pants.  If we were seriously requested to attend a 'black and white' wedding, his attire would be very expensive since he'd need to go out and buy a whole new suit or rent a tux.   Many men also fall into that issue where they own a suit or dressy clothing but not in black.  Asking them to dress to suit a color scheme can be a huge imposition.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 7:39 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I agree, banana.  After reading your post, I realized that my DH does have black pants, but no white shirts.  And I don't own a black dress . . . not b/c I don't like how I look in black, but b/c I just don't own dresses.  I'm a skirt-wearer and only own maybe 3 dresses (none of them black).  We would both absolutely have to purchase new attire for such a request, and I would be much more likely to just say "no" to the invite b/c I wouldn't appreciate having to buy special attire to be a guest at someone else's wedding. 

I might also add that there are some people, particularly older women, who feel it is inappropriate to wear black to a wedding.  There was a time when wearing black was making a very negative statement b/c it is considered a color of mourning.  I remember my late-borther's FIL saing how he thought it was terrible when people wear black to a wedding, just like wearing white to a funeral.  So some people really might feel awkward about it. 



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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 9:10 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I read somewhere that wearing red to a wedding means you are sleeping with the groom!Surprised

My MIL is one woman who is very horrified at the idea of black at a wedding.  She came around though when she saw the BM dresses and I had to coax her into wearing what she wanted to wear (it looked good on her) cause she thought it was inappropriate to wear black.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 9:15 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 My mom wants to wear black because she likes the color. I joked that she was not going to a funeral (I really don't care) :)
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 9:22 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 It can't be mandatory, but I think spreading the word is a great idea.

You don't own black pants either? If you don't a black dress or skirt OR pants, this would be a perfect reason to buy one of the above. A black dress/skirt/pants are all wardrope staples. (Not to get morbid, but what if you have to go to a funeral?)

What color of nice pants does your husband own?
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 10:39 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I read somewhere that wearing red to a wedding means you are sleeping with the groom!

I've worn red to one wedding and black to another... Tongue out
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 11:13 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 LittleBean!  THe things we didn't know about you.  So how was the groom?Wink

There is a whole host of superstitions about what colors to wear and not wear to the wedding.

I'll admit after I read that I was looking for red at my wedding.  Not that it holds any stock, but it just stuck in my head.Tongue out
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 11:38 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 My husband owns a navy blue suit.  It's perfect for morning or evening weddings and/or funerals.  The black isn't necessary and would just be another item in his closet that he doesn't wear.  The suit is ONLY worn for weddings, funerals and job interviews.  That's why the purchase of black pants and a jacket (Since if it's black tie he'd need one of those too) would be overkill.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 11:47 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I hear you, banana. Also, while black pants, suits and dresses may be a popular staple for women's wardrobes, a black suit or pants are NOT a staple for men's wardrobes.  Most men's staple suits and pants are dark gray, not black.  I personally tend to favor dark gray for suits and pants myself b/c they show up less lint and cat hair, and b/c they don't wash me out as much as black does.  I'm pale enough w/o going for the Cruella DeVille look. 
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 12:09 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 My husband has two suits - a grey "winter" suit and a tan "summer" suit. No way he's buying a third black suit to cater to some bride's desire to stage a wedding like it's a theatrical production.

So now he's going to feel all awkward because he's going to not be in black? Why do you want to do that to people?
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 5:43 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Absolutely NOT!!! Do you want your ceremony and reception to look like a giant piano? It wouldnt look very classy with everyone in black and white. It would be a goth fest.
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Re: I'm having a black and white wedding can I ask my guests to wear only black and white?

posted at 7/2/2009 5:45 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Ridley, I have a sneaking suspicion that you were once helphelpimbeingrepressed. Am I right?


As it's been said before, people are not decorations at your wedding. They're guests. 
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
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