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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec

Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

General Wedding Etiquette

Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>

My daughter was planning to get married after she graduated from college in May 2007. Her fiance joined the Army and we found out he was being sent to Iraq. He was sent home unexpectedly for a few da

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General Wedding Etiquette

Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>

My daughter was planning to get married after she graduated from college in May 2007. Her fiance joined the Army and we found out he was being sent to Iraq. He was sent home unexpectedly for a few da

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 10/30/2009 7:51 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

836234732927671...

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My daughter was planning to get married after she graduated from college in May 2007. Her fiance joined the Army and we found out he was being sent to Iraq. He was sent home unexpectedly for a few days and they got married quickly in his grandmother's living room. He is now out of the Army, and they are returning home. We have booked a venue for next summer for their actual wedding. They will have been married 4 1/2 years. How can we word the invitations?

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 10/30/2009 10:39 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Kraid

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If they married already, then they've already had their "actual wedding."

You may send invites for a vow renewal or a blessing, with a reception to follow.

You can't truthfully call it a wedding, since they're already married. If it was real enough for military benefits, it's real enough for family and friends to know about.

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 10/30/2009 11:14 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

WhatawagSBNy

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That's right. It can be celebrated as the joyous occasion that it is, a vows renewal with all the friends and family they were unable to invite to their actual wedding.
As for wording, you might want to start with "At last,..."

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 10/31/2009 9:17 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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Is this a vow renewal or will it just be the party?

Guests will either be invited to the vow renewal of the couple, the convalidation of the couple (if they're Catholic - not sure of the wording for other faiths) or the celebration in honor of their marriage.

What you're planning sounds lovely but it's not a wedding.

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 10/31/2009 2:42 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

836234732927671...

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Thanks for all your replies! It is not a secret that they are married. Many people were disappointed that they could not attend their wedding, and of course, found out about it after the fact.

I guess it will be a "reaffirmation of vows" technically. That is the wording we are unsure of!

She will wear a wedding gown, and everything will be just as if they were getting married the first time, except the wording of the ceremony will be different.

Anyone have any suggestions to make it special for them? I want my daughter to have the beautiful wedding she deserves!

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 10/31/2009 6:06 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

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just an idea for wording

"Please join us on "date/time of occasion" to witness the blessing of the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Jon and Jane Doe"

Or make it more formal " the honor of your presence if requested on the 6th of June 2010 at 3 O'Clock to witness the blessing of the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Jon and Jane Doe/"

Please join us in a long awaited celebration honoring their love and commitment to eachother since " actual wedding date __ ___ 2005" following the ceremony.

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/1/2009 6:07 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

CNUptain

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I'm doing the same thing! :-)

My FH and I are both Air Force officers and in order to make the Air Force happy, we are doing a quick wedding over the Thanksgiving holiday with just our parents and siblings (about 10 people total). We have to get the official paperwork done before the first of the year so we can be moved to our next assignment together.

Because I want the big wedding and because of the large number of people that we are leaving out, we are having a second wedding (we call it our "fake, real wedding") in May 2011. We just got engaged at the end of August 2009 so there's no way we could pull off a big family wedding (we are calling our first wedding our "real, fake wedding" :-) ) in time, due to planning and money.

This is actually very, very common in the military. We have several friends that have done this...though most of them never tell their families and just pretend their big wedding is it. Most of their parents and friends still have no idea they were legally married for over year before the actual ceremony.

My family is not thrilled with the idea of us having two weddings because they think it will take some of the "special-ness" away from the big day. However, we've decided to be excited that we get to have 2 weddings and doubly committed to each other. Once we explain it to friends/family that dont like the idea, most people are very supportive but still, people's attitude about it can drive a girl nuts!

Though people may know that your daughter and her fiancee/husband are already legally married, I bet your daughter still wants to have her special day and have the pictures in her white dress. :-)

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/2/2009 8:51 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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First of all, to anyone who is deceiving her guests by pretending that you are not already married, shame on you. People WILL find out and they will be so hurt and disgusted. What kind of way is that to start your marriage -- with lies to your closest friends and family? Not cool.

As for the above mom, I think that it's fine to have a big party to celebrate the marriage as long as it's publicly acknowledged that the couple is already married and that there is no deceit involved.

I think the most tasteful thing to do is treat it like a special anniversary party.   If you want to have a vow renewal, please treat it as such, not as a wedding do-over.

Gown, flowers, cake are fine. Dancing, sure!

Registering for gifts, bachelor and bachelorette parties, lots of bridesmaids, not so much.   Always say, this is a party, not a wedding, and then let your good sense be your guide.

Best wishes to your daughter and her husband.

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/2/2009 1:45 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

GwenWTS

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First it is perfectly appropriate for you to want your daughter and Son-in Law to have a wonderful celebration and what you call it really isn’t important, what matters is that you and your friends and family can celebrate their marriage together. Your son-in-laws service to our country to my way of thinking gives you a free pass from the etiquette police.

The following wording is appropriate:

Mr. and Mrs. (Your Daughter and Son-In-Law’s name)

request the honour of your presence

at a ceremony to celebrate

the reaffirmation of their wedding vows

Saturday, the twenty-third of August

At six o’clock

Church of Whatever

Bedford, New York

and at a reception afterwards

Sleepy Hollow Country Club

Hampton

Best if luck!

All the best,
Gwen Helbush
www.wtsevents.com

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/2/2009 3:21 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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Your son-in-laws service to our country to my way of thinking gives you a free pass from the etiquette police.

No one is trying to tell them they can't have a wonderful reception, but regardless of the reason that the wedding took place 4 years ago, you still have to have some class and manners.

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/2/2009 4:32 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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Ditto Cosmo.

IMO, it's actually a slap in the face to the men and women serving our country to use them as a reason to be socially inappropriate.

And when were vendors allowed to blatantly advertise on the boards??

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/3/2009 10:21 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

Kraid

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The OP is on the right track.

Just don't call it a wedding, and you're free to do things as weddingy as you please. I don't see an issue with the white dress, but a bridal party might be a bit odd.

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Re: Invitation wording, wedding 4 yrs after marriage due to military service

posted at 11/3/2009 10:38 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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banana, I did report her as an advertiser but I see her post is still here.

But rather than have her ad removed, maybe it's better to let it stand. She has so many typos and grammatical/punctuation errors in her post, no one in her right mind would hire her anyway. A wedding planner who is so careless about details? I don't think so!

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