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General Wedding Planning Topics
Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec
lack of RSVp responses
General Wedding Etiquette
lack of RSVp responses
<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>
I recently sent out my invitations with RSVP's to be back by June 6th.&nbsp; It's the 4th already and I only have 23 confirmed.&nbsp; I don't want to have to call the rest of these people to see if th
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General Wedding Etiquette
lack of RSVp responses
<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>
I recently sent out my invitations with RSVP's to be back by June 6th.&nbsp; It's the 4th already and I only have 23 confirmed.&nbsp; I don't want to have to call the rest of these people to see if th
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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8
Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590d

Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > lack of RSVp responses

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Forums  >  General Wedding Planning Topics  >  General Wedding Etiquette  >  lack of RSVp responses

lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/4/2009 5:44 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I recently sent out my invitations with RSVP's to be back by June 6th.  It's the 4th already and I only have 23 confirmed.  I don't want to have to call the rest of these people to see if they are coming and my mom says I shouldn't have to.  Most of the will be local-from my hometown.

What do I do?  Call the rest of the invitees and find out their answer?  Or do I just let it go and not worry if they come?  I don't plan on a very big reception as it will be at noon time; but I would like to know for sure how many to plan for.

Bluebonnetsue

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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/4/2009 6:02 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 It can be frustrating when waiting for the rsvp's.  People for some reason just wait until the last minute to send them back.  How many invitations did you send out?  I would say that you will probably get a lot of them back tomorrow or Saturday.  If you need a head count for something then you or someone is going to have to call and find out if they received their invite, you know you can never really count on the post office to deliver the mail.   I am sure that you will most likely get them back within the next few days.  When is the wedding?   I don't get it though, if I get an invitation I check to make sure that I have nothing else going on, and then send it back right away.  Some people are very lax about some things, and especially when you are planning something and you need to hear.  Are they friends, family, your side/fh side...hang in there, I'm sure it will all work out for you.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/4/2009 7:30 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 You're going to have to work the phones.

You will be surprised how many people simply don't send in the RSVP.

Tell them you need a headcount for the caterer.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 8:46 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 If by Saturday you haven't heard back from your guest...split your list and start the phone chain....I just don't get people sometimes...if you don't send them an invitation then they complain, you send them one and now they don't rsvp....if you ever figure people out let me know.   Cool
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 9:03 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 You need to wait till the 6th and then unless you have to give the final head counts monday, I'd wait till the end of Monday too.

We got a flood right before the due date and then a few trickles after that.  Then some got lost in the mail, one a neighbor recieved and was nice enough to bring it to us.

It is like bills, some people believe the due date is THE date you have to pay it.  They have no concept of paying it early.

People are the same way with RSVPs, that the 6th means it is the day they have to SEND it, not the day it has to be back in your actual hands.

It's normal.  I'd said come the end of Monday get on the phone Tuesday or have mom or his mom do it and start making phone calls.

We gave about 2 days after our RSVP b/c we had 3 weeks before the final head count was due.  Then we made some phone calls.

I am glad I waited cause there was a flood in our mailbox come the due date.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 1:18 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 This is by far the biggest pet peeve of everyone I know who has ever gotten married (including myself).  And for any event I've ever had where I've asked for RSVPs.  I'm not sure why it is so hard to tell the host whether or not you're attending an event.  I truly believe that a lot of people just want to see if something better comes up that they can go to instead!  You know, rather than commit to something else.

And add in the general nature of so many people to procrastinate, and you've got a recipe for disaster.  Unfortunately, you are going to have to work the phones next week - but make sure you divvy up the list between yourself, your fiance and your and his parents (if that's an option).

Good luck!  Best wishes and happy wedding.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 1:24 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Some people [stupidly] believe they are supposed to wait till the day listed in the RSVP to send the card back. So wait for 3 business days after the 6th so that the post office can deliver everything. Then get on the phone and call people.  Good luck. 
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/6/2009 7:27 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I am having the same problem-mostly from the people I work with with! I am taking a non reply as a no. I'm hoping that no one tells me that they are coming at the last minute- I have already told the caterer the number attending. Do people expect us to "chase them down"? I have too many other things to do!
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/6/2009 5:25 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I am taking a non reply as a no.

That could be a little tricky. I had a few non-replies that I did chase down, and all but one person ended up saying "yes!" Most of the "no" responses came earlier.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/10/2009 12:40 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 RSVP is a lost art I suppose. I sent my invites on June 2nd and have already received a few RSVP's. Those are the considerate people I suppose! I guess that's the benfit of having a buffet? You don't have to have an exact count??
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/12/2009 12:49 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 "I guess that's the benfit of having a buffet? You don't have to have an exact count??"

We are having a buffet but I still am required to give a final head count. I'm curious if there is anyone out there that considered the no replies as no and how it worked out.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/12/2009 3:33 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Yep, you are gonna have to work those phones like it's out of style calling all those folks that didn't RSVP.

We ran into this issue a few months ago, where 1/2 the guest count (of 300 families/couples/singles) didn't reply yet.  I'm glad we broke it up into groups, so that parentals and fiance could call too, it made the list shorter =) 

Reel in the help and good luck!

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

~ Mrs K ~
 ~ March 21st 2009 ~
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/30/2009 6:04 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I've had the same problem. Most of my RSVPs didn't come until way after the due date.  My wedding's in less than two weeks. We've been calling people up, and some of them still have the nerve to say that they've been planning on coming! Part of me just wants to assume they aren't, and if they show up, I'll tell them they are most welcome to stay but they will go hungry.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/1/2009 12:04 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Hi,
Just wanted to say that yes you do usually have to give the caterer a complete head count usually within two weeks of an event.However with that being said with a buffet I do believe you have more leeway than a traditional sit down dinner.This is also the case with family style as well.I had given a head count to my caterer of 30.I ended up having 33 ppl.And I still had plently of food leftover.
Cindy
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/3/2009 11:06 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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Last: 10/23/2009


 I feel your pain. I put my RSVP date as June 30th and so far less than 25% of the people have replied. I even gave people the option of RSVPing on our wedding website if they couldn't muster up the time and energy to go buy a stamp and place the reply card in the mail! Does it get anymore convenient than that?!
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/4/2009 10:54 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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The only people that RSVP'd on our website was my parents! lol I wonder if those things really get used? Everyone thinks they are a great idea now a days, but no one used mine!! My deadline was yesterday the 3rd. And have maybe gotten half. How does anyone do a seating chart with the lack of RSVP's? I will be starting to send emails and make phone calls next week, but geez! =)
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/4/2009 1:30 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I created a special email address, used my website and also put on the little card that they could give us a call.  Surprisingly, the majority RSVPed online and via email.  Only a few called.  We followed up the RSVP deadline with a postcard stating that we hadn't heard from so-and-so and that after July 1, we'd assume they were NOT coming.  That got more phone calls, emails and RSVPs through the website in.  At this point, we are NOT calling anyone.  We have a day of coordinator that will be admitting people based on the RSVP list that we give her.  I refuse to waste our time calling people in light of all that we still have to do.  We are paying for our own wedding and if we are paying for you to show up, party and have a good time...the least you can do is drop us an email, go on the website or call!!  Hopefully,  people who show up and don't get in will learn that next time they receive something saying to RSVP, they'll take the time to do so! =)
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/31/2009 10:17 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I am truly glad I found this post. We are having the same issue of people not sending back RSVP's. This includes friends and family alike. We even put the stamp on the return post card. We still have over 90 + people who have not responded either way. After reading all the posts here I believe i will wait the 3 days after the due date of August 5th and then send emails and make phone calls. I believe i may reach people quicker via email than by phone but is it rude if I send a reminder via email?  
We are having a sit down dinner and need a final headcount, as well as their food choices. We also have to do a seating chart. I know at past weddings i have attended people just showed up and I believe that is rude but again that is just my opinion and probably general people thinking. Just needed to share.
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/31/2009 12:11 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I think having to follow up with phone calls is just part of the process.  At least we will never EVER be on the "no response" on a future bride's list.

Someone questioned how hard is it to buy a stamp and send the thing back?  Well, honestly I think the RSVPs MUST be sent with postage on the reply cards.  It is an added expense but I believe it helps with the response rate.

My web site hasn't been very helpful either.  A few RSVPs early but no action since the save the date cards.

My "deadline" date is the 15th of August and things are trickling in.  I'm down to less than 45 yet to recieve (that's more than two-thirds response so far.) 

The phone calls will for the most part be congenial; but I'm not afraid to use this line either "I'm calling to confirm that you aren't coming to the wedding; we didn't recieve your RSVP and I need to give the caterer an accurate number."
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/31/2009 1:39 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 What about taking the approach that many of you have suggested about wedding registries- word of mouth.

What I mean is spread the word that a lack of RSVP means no attendance?  Is that rude, or is it more rude to not RSVP and then show up?
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/31/2009 11:29 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 In Response to Re: lack of RSVp responses:
We even put the stamp on the return post card.


I am SO GLAD it's not me anymore.  I had the same deal.  You'd think when people see the return card with THE STAMP ON IT and the wedding website and they know our phone number to simply call us that we had to track them down to find out if they were attending.

Especially with Matt's friends I was concerned they would just show up and we were having a plated dinner with a seating chart (by table) so there would be no table or food for them. 

I found that it was easiest to shoot out an individual email to my non responders. 
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 8/1/2009 12:50 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 In Response to Re: lack of RSVp responses:
What about taking the approach that many of you have suggested about wedding registries- word of mouth. What I mean is spread the word that a lack of RSVP means no attendance?  Is that rude, or is it more rude to not RSVP and then show up?
Posted by exotkprncss


     The question is, is there a benefit to being as rude as they are, with friends and family?  Your close friend whom you care about may have shopped for a gift and clothes to wear, gotten a sitter, and not know the RSVP envelope is still in the pocket of hubby's briefcase, since he had a bunch of letters to mail.
     Or your 120 lb dog managed to dislodge it from where it was clipped on the fridge, while sniffing brownies up 6'   high cooling, and you find it when you move  2 weeks after the wedding.  Complete with a large muddy paw print on the front.   (Me a year ago)  Luckily the bride called, to find  each of us thought the other must have mailed it, since it was gone 1-2 days after it arrived and was filled out.
      There is thoughtless, could not be bothered rude,  and completely accidental rude. :)

Two invitations with 5 who show up, no RSVP, and everyone is unhappy.  
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 8/1/2009 11:09 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 In Response to Re: lack of RSVp responses:
Or your 120 dog manged to dislodge it from where it was clipped on the fridge, while sniffing brownies up 6" high cooling, and you find it when you move  2 weeks after the wedding.  Complete with a large muddy paw print on the front.   (Me a year ago)    
Posted by WhatawagSBNy


LMAO!!!
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 8/2/2009 4:46 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 I just think that it is a great idea to email and/or call the late people. I sent invitations out and requested an r.s.v.p. for my daughter's birthday party and in small print on the bottom I included this sentance:

If you do not r.s.v.p. by this date, the we will assume that you are NOT attending.

Guess what, it worked!
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 8/5/2009 5:56 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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for my FH & Me sent out our wedding invites last month a couple days before the fourth of july &  out of 300 invites sent only 190 people rsvp already.. I am kind bummed because half of my family didnt rsvp and they cut off date is the 7. I am very disappointed Frown
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Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 8/5/2009 6:22 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com
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 Yeah it sucks. I am still trying to get ahold of a couple of people and the rsvp date was the 25th of july. Thank goodness that we are doing a buffet where we are purchasing the meat on our own, and a good friend (who is a chef) is cooking it, or else we would be stuck right now.
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