Wedding Planning - Wedding Dresses - Wedding Gifts - Wedding Website

couple

site

Community

Message Boards

General Wedding Planning Topics

General Wedding Etiquette

Just Engaged

DIY Brides

Ceremonies and Wedding Vows

Wedding Receptions

Bridal Party

Fashion and Health and Beauty

Wedding Drama

Emotional Support

Honeymoon

Destination Weddings

Chit Chat

Just Married

Vendor Board

Ask a Vendor

Bridal Blog Roll

Bridal Blogs

Journals

Journals

Community Links

Read our Rules

Get a Badge

Wedding Registry:
Etiquette 101

Wedding Music:
DJ Upgrades

Honeymoon:
Find your destination

lack of RSVp responses

General Wedding Etiquette

lack of RSVp responses

<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>

I recently sent out my invitations with RSVP's to be back by June 6th.  It's the 4th already and I only have 23 confirmed.  I don't want to have to call the rest of these people to see if th

False

General Wedding Etiquette

lack of RSVp responses

<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>

I recently sent out my invitations with RSVP's to be back by June 6th.  It's the 4th already and I only have 23 confirmed.  I don't want to have to call the rest of these people to see if th

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590d

[
						{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:b99899c2-00b3-441e-9caa-78b2a4d210ee","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 4, 17, 44, 41, 92)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:15eb8f29-70f5-4d28-bc01-5d0fe6908f83","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 4, 18, 2, 55, 472)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:2b6e868f-ddde-4a6c-9921-6516c8191391","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 4, 19, 30, 19, 117)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:fb0752b5-139b-4b71-a015-8981d8c36741","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 5, 8, 46, 1, 694)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:d0f9a899-b9cb-4077-8d33-2c8851cd7c08","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 5, 9, 3, 48, 794)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:155bf0a3-7848-4261-a5f6-7ff861466122","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 5, 13, 18, 23, 399)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:2d552b26-06c3-45ed-92d0-99a5bcbbcb28","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 5, 13, 24, 3, 488)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:378bfbd8-82d7-4d2f-a1a7-af0fdb4c4fb2","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 6, 7, 27, 4, 666)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:686272d0-8bcb-4ec4-b468-fd584420c402","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 6, 17, 25, 15, 624)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:17e227b9-6335-4248-bc1c-17ad70871c64","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 10, 12, 40, 58, 36)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:6c4dec03-934d-4d48-81f3-1d48c71a37d7","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 12, 12, 49, 18, 708)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:434110fb-eee3-4889-adab-5f32d1dfee59","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 12, 15, 33, 28, 558)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:f192cb94-8d94-440c-8dd2-65fb30b5be9c","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 5, 30, 18, 4, 53, 300)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:fa30a78d-de84-4691-8025-c1fd333866aa","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 1, 0, 4, 36, 247)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:38c5205e-d729-4feb-8273-559d4272a65c","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 3, 23, 6, 36, 91)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:66185b44-a42a-4cd2-b6c5-4b6e5d983626","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 4, 10, 54, 31, 845)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:79689d3f-f531-431a-b81f-c792ab9bc120","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 4, 13, 30, 6, 912)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:1ab3cc5f-ce25-4191-8a69-c343d5eabda0","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 31, 10, 17, 36, 219)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:2634f431-c7ed-478f-8e58-7f62b628ed28","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 31, 12, 11, 56, 110)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:fb834c64-64dd-4cac-9fef-3c947d8ceb7d","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 31, 13, 39, 30, 75)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:c73fd89d-6b5a-4963-8681-3292a3d59ab1","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 6, 31, 23, 29, 12, 330)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:2110cfde-b853-4daa-95ec-0ac4af78617c","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 7, 1, 0, 50, 23, 330)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:0cd99a79-28b8-4d36-ad74-ba2ec7dd26b5","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 7, 1, 23, 9, 19, 394)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:6593302a-2bb0-4819-8943-319d51086887","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 7, 2, 16, 46, 28, 269)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:c667523f-1434-44eb-b967-baab1e1793ea","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 7, 5, 17, 56, 40, 664)} ,					{"Key" : "Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8Discussion:b6482339-0345-4e06-b83c-6947d4e6590dPost:a2690bf2-56a2-4883-a3f2-7eb906b76772","Timestamp" : new Date(2009, 7, 5, 18, 22, 4, 30)} 				]

Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > lack of RSVp responses

You must be logged in to contribute. Log in | Register

Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > lack of RSVp responses

lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/4/2009 5:44 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

bluebonnetsue

Joined on
08-08-2007
AUSTIN

28953200006174

Posts: 18

First: 5/10/2009

Last: 6/6/2009

I recently sent out my invitations with RSVP's to be back by June 6th. It's the 4th already and I only have 23 confirmed. I don't want to have to call the rest of these people to see if they are coming and my mom says I shouldn't have to. Most of the will be local-from my hometown.

What do I do? Call the rest of the invitees and find out their answer? Or do I just let it go and not worry if they come? I don't plan on a very big reception as it will be at noon time; but I would like to know for sure how many to plan for.

Bluebonnetsue

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/4/2009 6:02 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Joined on
01-23-2009
NEW JERSEY

8035682953073310

Posts: 107

First: 5/8/2009

Last: 11/5/2009

It can be frustrating when waiting for the rsvp's. People for some reason just wait until the last minute to send them back. How many invitations did you send out? I would say that you will probably get a lot of them back tomorrow or Saturday. If you need a head count for something then you or someone is going to have to call and find out if they received their invite, you know you can never really count on the post office to deliver the mail. I am sure that you will most likely get them back within the next few days. When is the wedding? I don't get it though, if I get an invitation I check to make sure that I have nothing else going on, and then send it back right away. Some people are very lax about some things, and especially when you are planning something and you need to hear. Are they friends, family, your side/fh side...hang in there, I'm sure it will all work out for you.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/4/2009 7:30 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Stinky Wizzelte...

Joined on
02-14-2003

723940700003787

Posts: 1241

First: 5/5/2009

Last: 11/6/2009

You're going to have to work the phones.

You will be surprised how many people simply don't send in the RSVP.

Tell them you need a headcount for the caterer.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 8:46 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Joined on
01-23-2009
NEW JERSEY

8035682953073310

Posts: 107

First: 5/8/2009

Last: 11/5/2009

If by Saturday you haven't heard back from your guest...split your list and start the phone chain....I just don't get people sometimes...if you don't send them an invitation then they complain, you send them one and now they don't rsvp....if you ever figure people out let me know.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 9:03 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

AmandaB

Joined on
03-05-2007
OMAHA

757742262508180

Posts: 1087

First: 5/7/2009

Last: 11/6/2009

You need to wait till the 6th and then unless you have to give the final head counts monday, I'd wait till the end of Monday too.

We got a flood right before the due date and then a few trickles after that. Then some got lost in the mail, one a neighbor recieved and was nice enough to bring it to us.

It is like bills, some people believe the due date is THE date you have to pay it. They have no concept of paying it early.

People are the same way with RSVPs, that the 6th means it is the day they have to SEND it, not the day it has to be back in your actual hands.

It's normal. I'd said come the end of Monday get on the phone Tuesday or have mom or his mom do it and start making phone calls.

We gave about 2 days after our RSVP b/c we had 3 weeks before the final head count was due. Then we made some phone calls.

I am glad I waited cause there was a flood in our mailbox come the due date.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 1:18 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

booklover

Joined on
08-21-2008
BOSTON

7198549243745000

Posts: 12

First: 5/21/2009

Last: 7/24/2009

This is by far the biggest pet peeve of everyone I know who has ever gotten married (including myself). And for any event I've ever had where I've asked for RSVPs. I'm not sure why it is so hard to tell the host whether or not you're attending an event. I truly believe that a lot of people just want to see if something better comes up that they can go to instead! You know, rather than commit to something else.

And add in the general nature of so many people to procrastinate, and you've got a recipe for disaster. Unfortunately, you are going to have to work the phones next week - but make sure you divvy up the list between yourself, your fiance and your and his parents (if that's an option).

Good luck! Best wishes and happy wedding.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/5/2009 1:24 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

ALF72

Joined on
10-30-2004
BOSTON

981246950001257

Posts: 912

First: 5/8/2009

Last: 11/6/2009

Some people [stupidly] believe they are supposed to wait till the day listed in the RSVP to send the card back. So wait for 3 business days after the 6th so that the post office can deliver everything. Then get on the phone and call people. Good luck.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/6/2009 7:27 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

janeflack

Joined on
04-04-2009
VERMONT

8929744415910600

Posts: 1

First: 6/6/2009

Last: 6/6/2009

I am having the same problem-mostly from the people I work with with! I am taking a non reply as a no. I'm hoping that no one tells me that they are coming at the last minute- I have already told the caterer the number attending. Do people expect us to "chase them down"? I have too many other things to do!

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/6/2009 5:25 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

LittleBean

Joined on
12-26-2007
RHODE ISLAND

5314342666184843

Posts: 613

First: 5/7/2009

Last: 11/6/2009

I am taking a non reply as a no.

That could be a little tricky. I had a few non-replies that I did chase down, and all but one person ended up saying "yes!" Most of the "no" responses came earlier.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/10/2009 12:40 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Bets0731

Joined on
04-15-2009
SEATTLE

4364754124849393

Posts: 216

First: 5/19/2009

Last: 7/29/2009

RSVP is a lost art I suppose. I sent my invites on June 2nd and have already received a few RSVP's. Those are the considerate people I suppose! I guess that's the benfit of having a buffet? You don't have to have an exact count??

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/12/2009 12:49 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

753571610241026...

Joined on
03-02-2009
NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

7535716102410266

Posts: 7

First: 5/13/2009

Last: 7/22/2009

"I guess that's the benfit of having a buffet? You don't have to have an exact count??"

We are having a buffet but I still am required to give a final head count. I'm curious if there is anyone out there that considered the no replies as no and how it worked out.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/12/2009 3:33 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

kpwedkk

Joined on
09-22-2008
PHOENIX

4338576876386225

Posts: 270

First: 5/5/2009

Last: 11/5/2009

Yep, you are gonna have to work those phones like it's out of style calling all those folks that didn't RSVP.

We ran into this issue a few months ago, where 1/2 the guest count (of 300 families/couples/singles) didn't reply yet. I'm glad we broke it up into groups, so that parentals and fiance could call too, it made the list shorter =)

Reel in the help and good luck!

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

~ Mrs K ~
~ March 21st 2009 ~

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 6/30/2009 6:04 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

746161166559820...

Joined on
11-01-2008
DC AREA

7461611665598208

Posts: 1

First: 6/30/2009

Last: 6/30/2009

I've had the same problem. Most of my RSVPs didn't come until way after the due date. My wedding's in less than two weeks. We've been calling people up, and some of them still have the nerve to say that they've been planning on coming! Part of me just wants to assume they aren't, and if they show up, I'll tell them they are most welcome to stay but they will go hungry.

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/1/2009 12:04 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

cbm06263

Joined on
01-02-2006
CONNECTICUT

544217262507448

Posts: 88

First: 5/7/2009

Last: 10/26/2009

Hi,
Just wanted to say that yes you do usually have to give the caterer a complete head count usually within two weeks of an event.However with that being said with a buffet I do believe you have more leeway than a traditional sit down dinner.This is also the case with family style as well.I had given a head count to my caterer of 30.I ended up having 33 ppl.And I still had plently of food leftover.

Cindy

Report Abuse

REPLY QUOTE Private Message

Re: lack of RSVp responses

posted at 7/3/2009 11:06 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

Luvstruck

Joined on
01-18-2009
ATLANTA

8616678975504991

Posts: 56

First: 6/9/2009

Last: 10/23/2009

I feel your pain. I put my RSVP date as June 30th and so far less than 25% of the people have replied. I even gave people the option of RSVPing on our wedding website if they couldn't muster up the time and energy to go buy a stamp and place the reply card in the mail! Does it get anymore convenient than that?!

Report Abuse