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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec

Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

General Wedding Etiquette

Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>

How do Iet my guests know where I am registered? Unfortunately, the save the dates and the shower invitations have already gone out and I just finished registering. I can't remember ever seeing a regi

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False

General Wedding Etiquette

Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

<font color="#ffffff">From the big decisions to the little details, discuss wedding day basics here.</font>

How do Iet my guests know where I am registered? Unfortunately, the save the dates and the shower invitations have already gone out and I just finished registering. I can't remember ever seeing a regi

0

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:ca593c8a-9d29-4c6f-ac16-bce735c238a8

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > General Wedding Etiquette > Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/25/2009 2:57 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

kscot023

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How do Iet my guests know where I am registered? Unfortunately, the save the dates and the shower invitations have already gone out and I just finished registering. I can't remember ever seeing a registry card in a formal invitation but maybe I just forgot. Is this not appropriate? If not, what do I do?

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/25/2009 3:10 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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It's not appropriate to put registry information in the wedding invitation.

Instead, spread the information via word of mouth and link it to your wedding website.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/26/2009 12:28 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

AuntThelma

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banana is correct. If someone wants to know where you are registered, she will either look it up or ask you, your Mother or your bridal party.

It is inappropriate to put registry information in any invitation, though shower invitations are exempt from this absolute.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/26/2009 12:44 PM CDT on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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I agree completely.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/27/2009 2:17 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

nicolecsaz

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I put the registry information on the Accommodation Card, that includes that Wedding and Cermony Locations, Map (on-back), Hotel Information. I know everyone says its not appropriate, but my groom and I decided it was the best thing to do, since everyone is spread around the country.

My invitation consultant also thought it was appropriate and a very common practice!

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/27/2009 6:28 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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Your consultant was incorrect.

Doing the convenient thing is not necesarriliy the appropriate thing.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/27/2009 9:42 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

efriedrich90024...

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do not put registry info on your invitation or on an insert in the invitation, it isn't appropriate. people will ask, you can tell them then. also, on this website, on the home page, you can look people up and see where they are registered and their wedding website. and they link the registries onto the website.

finding out where someone is registered is extremely easy.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 10/27/2009 10:01 AM CDT on weddingchannel.com

kscot023

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Ok thanks ladies! I'll just have my mom spread the word :)

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/2/2009 9:21 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

crystal527

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People swear up and down that it's bad etiquette to include the registry information, but to be honest, I have yet to receive an invitation that did NOT have registry information included. This didn't bother me one bit and made it more convenient for me as a guest since I didn't have to call all around and bother people about the registry. As a matter of fact, I thought this was the normal thing to do UNTIL I started reading wedding websites and saw people flipping out about how rude it is to send registry info in the invitations.

I am still up in the air on whether I am going to send the registry info out on my own invitations. People swear up and down that it is rude and should not be done, but they said the same thing about registries themselves a few years ago. I would just say it is up to your own judgment and how you think your guests would react. If you have any doubts, just have your family and bridal party spread the word.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/3/2009 5:49 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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Because it's been done does not make it OK. And being convenient and appropriate are two different things.

My husband has no qualms about passing gas in front of me. It's convenient but it's certainly not appropriate. :-)

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/3/2009 10:46 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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It is fine and dandy to include registry information in a shower invitation because the purpose of the event is to give a gift. Not to mention, people don't host their own showers.

It is rude to include registry information in a wedding invitation.

Any invitation consultant who thinks it's okay to do so is trying to sell you more insert cards.

Make the world a better place. Instead of doing it because other people have done it, decide that you want to take the high road. You want people to open your wedding invitation and say "oh, what a lovely invitation. I'm excited about Sue and Joe's wedding", not "omg, can you believe how tacky they are?"

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/3/2009 11:19 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

Ariel81916

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Put your registry information on your website (if you have one, which you should). Tell your mother, his mother, your bridal party, etc., and they can spread the word. It's easy, it's polite, and most people will know to ask them (if they're not saavy enough to check the popular ones online first).

To echo Cosmo's pont, no one will ever admit to you that they thought your choice was tacky, but they'll think it. Registry information in the invite reminds me of an invitation to a fundraiser or reunion -- "come celebrate with us! And don't forget it's time to donate to the ol' alma mater!" (I've been getting a LOT of those in the mail lately, which is why I'm thinking of it.)

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/3/2009 12:35 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

AmandaB

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As Miss Manners puts it, gift giving is VOLUNTARY, that is what makes it a gift.

When you start putting your requests into invitations rather than giving it to those who ask, it ceases to be voluntary and becomes an expectation/demand of a gift on you part.

Otherwise why include the information if you are not expecting your guests to give you a gift?

It was an interesting perspective that I hadn't thought of before and it makes sense.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/3/2009 1:02 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

shelle1214

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In Response to Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?:

My husband has no qualms about passing gas in front of me. It's convenient but it's certainly not appropriate. :-)
Posted by banana2007

HAHAHAHA!!! I love it!! Best argument to the "people do it so it must be okay" statement I've heard yet....

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/3/2009 1:05 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

jdullo218

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It is considered inappropriate to place them in the invitaton because you are asking for gifts at that point and giving guests more of obligation to do so.

Mrs. Jean Flores
October 25, 2009

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/5/2009 11:52 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

vmrios713

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Plenty of people on this site might say it's inappropiate and tacky to put the wedding registry information in the wedding invitation, but you know what so many people do it. It's up to you. Personally, I don't think anyone is going to think less of you for doing it. I don't believe they are going to be upset over it and if they do; they will get over it.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 1:06 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

WhatawagSBNy

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In Response to Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?:

Plenty of people on this site might say it's inappropiate and tacky to put the wedding registry information in the wedding invitation, but you know what so many people do it. It's up to you. Personally, I don't think anyone is going to think less of you for doing it. I don't believe they are going to be upset over it and if they do; they will get over it.
Posted by vmrios713

This could be said about any rude behavior. You want to drink a fifth of Jack Black at your wedding, throw up on the head table, then pass out? Heck, everyone has done something like that a few times- practically a rite of passage in high school and college. Go ahead, if you feel like it. If it upsets people, they will get over it.

What a stupid, stupid rationale. If your standard of behavior is to not do anything worse than the worst you see others do, live with pigs.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 5:27 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

LizK

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No, definately not. You make sure both sets of parents know, and your bridal party-then it's up to the guests to ask them.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 5:48 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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FWIW, people DO talk when they see this sort of stuff. I've witnessed the distaste.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 7:41 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

Ariel81916

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Personally, I don't think anyone is going to think less of you for doing it.

I would. Based on conversations with my nearest and dearest friends, they would, too.

You'll still get a gift, because it's the right thing to do, but will it be significantly less generous? You betcha! When I'm standing at the store or holding the pen over my checkbook, I do take everything about my relationship with the couple and their event into consideration. Including whether their invitation is for a celebration or a fundraiser.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 7:49 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

KathyP

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It's tacky! No one will say anything to you but those who are aware of proper etiquette will know that this is not proper and think to themselves "What a ignorant thing to do".
It is considered a outright request for a gift. You are supposed to invite people for the pleasure of their company and not with the expectation that they will give you anything. If they want to know they can ask you or your parents or the groom or his parents.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 1:37 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

crystal527

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Honestly if people are to think less of someone for including registry information in their actual invitation, they weren't much of a friend to begin with.

As I've said before, I've yet to receive an invitation from any of my friends and family that didn't have the registry info in it, and I never got my panties in a twist over it. In general, people need to lighten up. How on earth do you compare putting a registry card in an invitation to barfing all over a table and/or being an animal? Your response was just a tad over the top.

That being said, there are plenty of people who don't have any problems with it, but there are plenty of people who will get uppity or offended by it. If you want to play it safe, just do it the old fashioned way.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 1:47 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

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I assume that if I'm invited to someone's wedding, it's because we are close friends or family. It wouldn't make me not like them or give them a cheaper present. I would just assume that they have no manners.

Some of DH's family have terrible grammar and it does make me cringe but it doesn't mean I love them any less.

If the invitation was for some other area of the country, I would figure that "that's the way they do it out there".

It's like dollar dances, Jack and Jill fund-raising, money grubbing showers, and honeymoon registries. Tacky and bad manners. Something that people will talk about. Roll their eyes. But participate anyway because you love the couple and are happy for them.

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 3:21 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

WhatawagSBNy

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In Response to Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?:

Honestly if people are to think less of someone for including registry information in their actual invitation, they weren't much of a friend to begin with. As I've said before, I've yet to receive an invitation from any of my friends and family that didn't have the registry info in it, and I never got my panties in a twist over it. In general, people need to lighten up. How on earth do you compare putting a registry card in an invitation to barfing all over a table and/or being an animal? Your response was just a tad over the top. That being said, there are plenty of people who don't have any problems with it, but there are plenty of people who will get uppity or offended by it. If you want to play it safe, just do it the old fashioned way.
Posted by crystal527

Lots of times you think all good things about your friends, then they do something that makes you think, how crude, or how greedy. A blatant request for gifts for yourself in an invitation appears greedy, and unmannered. (Hence pigs- very nice intelligent creatures, who always put themselves and what they want, first. Not a social animal.)

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Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?

posted at 11/6/2009 5:07 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

banana2007

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In Response to Re: Do I put the registry card in the wedding invitation?:

Honestly if people are to think less of someone for including registry information in their actual invitation, they weren't much of a friend to begin with.
Posted by crystal527

Think "less" of the person? Yeah - that's not a great friend. However if the friend finds the action to be in poor taste, are they suddenly bad people to find that what they were given was in poor taste?

Convenience and appropriateness are not the same thing. Asking for presents is VERY gauche.

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