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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec
Too busy for sex!
Wedding Drama
Too busy for sex!
<font color="#ffffff">Your future mother-in-law said what?! Got a sticky situation? Get advice on friends, family, and more!</font>
Eek... so with all the planning going on and the stress and the phone calls, my fiance and I finally had 5 minutes of down time the other day and I realized that it had been weeks since we'd, um, well
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Wedding Drama
Too busy for sex!
<font color="#ffffff">Your future mother-in-law said what?! Got a sticky situation? Get advice on friends, family, and more!</font>
Eek... so with all the planning going on and the stress and the phone calls, my fiance and I finally had 5 minutes of down time the other day and I realized that it had been weeks since we'd, um, well
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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:8b0ecf40-d82c-4dd4-a709-f775574bfa5c
Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:8b0ecf40-d82c-4dd4-a709-f775574bfa5cDiscussion:0d29ae0f-4fb9-4837-aff2-1834517dd4ad
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/9/2009 6:39 PM CST
on weddingchannel.com
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So yeah we used to have time for things like this. And since my fiance and I just turned 25 I think it is normal that our desires should still be at a high want level. Unfortunately He works nights, and when he gets home I'm either already gone for work or just leaving. When i get home from work and school he has already been gone for hours! It is frustrating but we try to make our weekends count!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/10/2009 10:26 AM CST
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I find your "God wants you to wait until marriage" as offensive as you can possibly imagine.
Probably even more offensive than you find the idea of godless heathens fornicating all over the place.
And, nothing is going to stress out your soon-to-be-husband more than you shutting him off with a couple of weeks to the wedding just because you want to grow your virginity back for the wedding night. Jeesh!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/10/2009 3:04 PM CST
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Maybride, I think you said it best....thanks!
Yeah, I know we have good chemistry, it's just that we've both been so stressed out. We're actually planning a date night this wekend, so it's sort of like scheduling, but not exactly. thanks everyone for your advice!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/11/2009 11:57 AM CST
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I have been with my fiance for 6 years, 5 years of that were long distance. So of course it was hot and heavy on the weekends we were together. Then I moved in and sometimes life happens. But I did notice recently that when I said I was in the mood he was less then enthusiastic, which was odd. So when I asked him about it, he said he got tired of being worked up when I made mention of that but by the time I got home I wouldnt be in the mood anymore.So he quit asking or trying which made me sad. So we talked and I informed him I get tired really early so if he's in the mood he needs to come to bed with me, hell he can get up and leave when he's done. Just as long as you talk. And you know sometimes I surprise him at the door when he gets home wearing something sexy that he likes. Try it sometime! Good luck.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/11/2009 12:01 PM CST
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i'm too busy too, but i've been trying to isolate time for "just us" before bed where i just shut out all the wedding and work stuff. music helps us!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/12/2009 9:33 PM CST
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I would say that it is perfectly normal to have some 'down time' while some major stress is going on. My fiance and I are doing the long distance thing right now since I am at college, so we spend every weekend reconnecting with one another. However, sometimes the week is so stressful you just have to be content going to sleep in each other's arms. Eventually, the stress will go away and you two will be back to normal in no time. Talk to your Fi and have a little faith that it will pick up soon.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/13/2009 1:03 PM CST
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Boy I am sorry to be throwing morality into this thread. People's lack of morality is startling to me. If you aren't shacked up together having sex, and living like an already married couple then something is wrong with you. Maybe it's a sign when you are already having problems with your sex life, and you aren't even married yet. I am waiting until I am married, I know that is not a popular choice. Nobody wants to hear that they should wait. Personally I am excited, and it is going to make us stronger to take that next step.
Even if you are already having sex, why not say we are going to wait until the wedding night, and build up the anticipation. Take some pressure off, and make it be more special.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/13/2009 1:36 PM CST
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I am waiting until I am married, I know that is not a popular choice. Nobody wants to hear that they should wait.
Nobody wants a moral lecture they didn't ask for. The OP didn't ask if she should wait before marriage. Don't stick your morals in where they are not asked for.
And by the way, 90% of us responding to her are ALREADY MARRIED! So get off your high horse.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/13/2009 3:06 PM CST
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Mrichardson, please go back and read the original post. The poster was not asking for advice about waiting, nor did she ask for people's opinions about whether premarital sex was good or bad. It was pretty evident from the original post and the title of the post that the OP had already had sex w/ her FI and was concerned about whether or not the dip in frequency was a problem.
If you want to wait for your wedding night, then good for you. I mean that in a nice way, not a sarcastic way. That is a decision that you made w/ your FI for reasons known only to you. It's a personal decision, and no one has the right to second guess that decision. Similarly, the OP and her FI made a different decision re sex and you don't have the right to second guess their decision. Really, this is a decision that people need to make for themselves, consulting their own consciences and beliefs. And don't give me that whole "God says" or "the Bible says" argument. God also gave people free will. They are free to make whatever choice they want. If God doesn't approve, well, that is something that He can take up w/ whoever makes a decision that he doesn't agree w/ at a later date. No mortal other than the one who made the decision needs to get involved in that situation.
What I want to know is, why on earth did you bother to even read or respond to the post when it clearly had no application to your life? Why would someone who's waiting to have sex read a post about having sex? And once you saw that it was about having sex before a wedding, and there was nothing in that post asking for opinions about whether or not sex before marriage was a good thing, why on earth were you compelled to respond? You had to know it would only cause an argument.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/13/2009 3:15 PM CST
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Why would someone who's waiting to have sex read a post about having sex?
B/c she can give a lecture about how unmoral everyone is and how her way is the right way. Duh.
I think this post was a post of the day on the homepage, which would explain a lot.
And didn't you catch it Alf, the reason the OP is having a lull is b/c she is being punished for having premarital sex!
Maybe it's a sign when you are already having problems with your sex life, and you aren't even married yet.
I hope this thread did help the OP and she wasn't scared off. It is so ridiculous that every time someone posts this type of subject half a dozen people or more have to come out flinging bibles.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/13/2009 3:23 PM CST
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In Response to Re: Too busy for sex!:
Maybe you should wait until you get married to be "doing it" then maybe it would be a little more meaningful- just a thought-
Posted by mrichardson
Yes, but what if you wait to get married and find out he stinks in bed? Nothing worse then being stuck FOREVER with a guy you don't mesh with in the sack!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/13/2009 3:26 PM CST
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I think anyone who is assuming they are going to have an explosive 365 day a year sex life just b/c they waited till they got married is going to be in for one giant shock.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/19/2009 2:10 PM CST
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Just go to a store and get a toy for yourself. If he's not pleasing you and you have unequal sex drives...there is absolutely nothing wrong with pleaseing yourself!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/21/2009 4:29 PM CST
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I wouldn't worry terribly about the lack of sex. There are other ways to be intimate. I don't see my fiance for months at a time because he's military and stationed far away. But, when we are together to be perfectly honest we don't do it 24/7. He told me the other day that what he misses most is the cuddling. A man said that! I was flabbergasted when I heard that. Being close, and doing things together are what intimacy is about. You don't have to be going at it like rabbits (even though it's fun) to have the deep connection.
I'd attribute what your going through to the busy busy chaos and stress of the pre wedding scramble. You get so focused on your to do lists that you honestly don't think about sex. That doesn't mean you wont ever have it again. I would suggest that when you think of him during the day, try sending him a cute text telling him how you can't wait to get him alone that night. He'll get curious and put the moves on you when you come home.
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 11/23/2009 12:30 AM CST
on weddingchannel.com
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We have been so tired at night. So we had to kind of schedule for morning on the weekend, that way at least we have once a week. If we are too sleepy, it's understood it's ok, but this has worked so far. Only 4 more weeks, then honeymoon!!
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Re: Too busy for sex!
posted at 12/7/2009 12:22 PM CST
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In Response to Re: Too busy for sex!:
I find your "God wants you to wait until marriage" as offensive as you can possibly imagine. Probably even more offensive than you find the idea of godless heathens fornicating all over the place. And, nothing is going to stress out your soon-to-be-husband more than you shutting him off with a couple of weeks to the wedding just because you want to grow your virginity back for the wedding night. Jeesh!
Posted by cosmogirl
I agree! Also I feel that too many magazines tell you you're not a normal couple if you're not having sex a certain amount of time per week/month..elc. If there's still cuddling, there shouldn't be any need for concern. And, I don't like the "no more sex till marriage" thing works too well for the wedding night. I want that night to last and if I had been holding out, it wouldn't last long at all! LOL
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