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Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ec

his parents not coming to the wedding??

Wedding Drama

his parents not coming to the wedding??

<font color="#ffffff">Your future mother-in-law said what?! Got a sticky situation? Get advice on friends, family, and more!</font>

I've been dating my fiance for over 3 years and we're finally getting married in July! His family is from Pennsylvania and I am from Iowa. Pj moved here at the beginning of the summer and we soon beca

0

False

Wedding Drama

his parents not coming to the wedding??

<font color="#ffffff">Your future mother-in-law said what?! Got a sticky situation? Get advice on friends, family, and more!</font>

I've been dating my fiance for over 3 years and we're finally getting married in July! His family is from Pennsylvania and I am from Iowa. Pj moved here at the beginning of the summer and we soon beca

0

Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:8b0ecf40-d82c-4dd4-a709-f775574bfa5c

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Wedding Drama > his parents not coming to the wedding??

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Forums > General Wedding Planning Topics > Wedding Drama > his parents not coming to the wedding??

his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/1/2009 12:39 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

sweetpea7910

Joined on
11-01-2009
SOUTH DAKOTA

7146926754138224

Posts: 3

First: 11/1/2009

Last: 11/7/2009

I've been dating my fiance for over 3 years and we're finally getting married in July! His family is from Pennsylvania and I am from Iowa. Pj moved here at the beginning of the summer and we soon became engaged after that. Ever since we have been engaged, his family, especially parents have treated me so awful! His mother has gone so far as to say that she will never love her future grandchildren because they came from me. Before, I thought that we would just work things out and everything would be fine, but I'm almost positive that they will not be coming to the wedding at all. What do I tell people? It will be incredibly obvious that his parents are not there! I don't know if I should tell people the truth or if I should say that they are unable to travel that far. I know it's hurting Pj that his family won't come to the wedding, but I just don't know what to do. HELP!

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/1/2009 1:30 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

holly2010

Joined on
07-13-2009
KANSAS CITY

9077830908314604

Posts: 39

First: 7/21/2009

Last: 11/17/2009

You don't owe anyone an explaination as to why they are not there. If anyone asks you could simply say that you are not really sure. (Afterall, you really don't know why she is acting like this do you?) This mom might be one who thinks that no one will be good enough for her son. Has your FI calmly talked with his parents to find out why they are scting this way? I do believe that an open conversation can be helpful if both parties are willing to listen to the other person. If your FIL's are willing to talk then maybe you can work out som issues. Your FI needs to start the conversation, maybe say something like "mom I know that this wedding is upsetting to you, but what I don't understand is why. Could you please help me understand?" Maybe she will open up and come clean. Hopefully your FI won't give in to his mothers demands. If he loves you then he should somewhat stand up to his mother's silliness. Not be confrontational, just simply say that he is going to marry you with or without her blessing he just hopes that she gives her blesssing. Also tell her that He loves you and that he really wants her to be a part of the wedding but it will continue on without her. Let her know that he will not regret marrying you but will she regret not being there? I hope you can work things out. Good Luck.

Oct.Bride.2010

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/2/2009 9:13 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

cosmogirl

Joined on
06-20-2006
BOSTON

35626637508267

Posts: 713

First: 5/14/2009

Last: 11/20/2009

"We are very disappointed that they aren't able to be here. Oh my, what a pretty dress you're wearing!"

That's all you need.

You don't have to mention it to anyone ahead of time that they're not coming. Out of respect for PJ, don't talk about it to others, it's still his family. Just accept that he has chosen you over them and be happy and supportive. Do have grace and class when you do communicate with them and never make them that they aren't welcome to come.

My husband's dad did not attend our wedding (for no good reason) and it hurt him so badly.

Best wishes.

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/3/2009 10:26 AM CST on weddingchannel.com

909968576279956...

Joined on
01-26-2009
UPSTATE NEW YORK

9099685762799569

Posts: 1

First: 11/3/2009

Last: 11/3/2009

my fiance and i have been together 7 years.We are getting married in June. My mother never accepted him,for no good reason.She wont even let him come over.She is also not coming to the wedding. I am obviously pretty hurt but i wouldn't want her to come and be nasty to him on our day.Mother or not there are boundaries. The day is about the two of you sharing your love for eachother.Remember that and just support him.

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/3/2009 2:14 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

kpwedkk

Joined on
09-22-2008
PHOENIX

4338576876386225

Posts: 273

First: 5/5/2009

Last: 11/17/2009

I agree with the previous posters - you don't owe anyone an explanation of why your fiance's parents didn't show up on their son's happiest moments in his life.

These precious moments are between you and your fiance, and it's nice to have family and friends' loving support which is who will be surrounding you all the time =)

This is something that his parents will regret for the rest of their lives. You honestly tried to make amends with them, and despite all of this, your fiance is still ready to marry you!

Best of luck, and well wishes!

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

~ Mrs K ~
~ March 21st 2009 ~

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/3/2009 4:54 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

chika072@msn.co...

Joined on
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DC AREA

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Posts: 1

First: 11/3/2009

Last: 11/3/2009

I'm in the EXACT same situation, so i understand what you're feeling. I almost laughed when i read your post because i felt like i had written it! I'm not sure what we're going to do either. It's extremely tough, but we'll both get through it, i'm sure! I'll keep you and your future family in my prayers.

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/5/2009 4:40 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

xoShawnxo

Joined on
10-16-2009

7570913224991598

Posts: 5

First: 11/5/2009

Last: 11/5/2009

Same situation here. I made my MIL mad and she's hanging on very tightly to her mad...I apologized (unnecessarily, but did so to attempt to make peace, and she basically shrugged it off.) I'm not welcome in her home (we live in the same town), and at this point, she's certainly not welcomein our homeso we're not going to be inviting her, I guess. It'll be awkward, as we'll be a small group and her other son and grandson will be in attendance, we hope.

It's a very difficult situation and I haven't always handled it like I should have. If asked, I'm not sure what to say about her absence. I guess when the time comes I'll just be saying whatever my DH wishes me to say.

Maybe you can just say, "They weren't able to make it today." And leave it at that.

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Re: his parents not coming to the wedding??

posted at 11/5/2009 8:45 PM CST on weddingchannel.com

Stinky Wizzelte...

Joined on
02-14-2003

723940700003787

Posts: 1306

First: 5/5/2009

Last: 11/22/2009

His mother has gone so far as to say that she will never love her future grandchildren because they came from me.

Wow, is this ever horrible and as blunt as it gets! I'm sorry she said this to you; how awful.

Let me ask you this: are there cultural differences between you and your FI and his family? Maybe that's where in the problem lies.

What has your FI done about this? has he taken your side and has he made it clear to his family that their behavior is horrific, unacceptable and since it's hurting you, it hurts him? If he hasn't spoken up on your behalf, you've got a much bigger problem than what you've described.

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