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My bf wants to live together before we are engaged, but I always said I would never do that. Do you think that its better to live with someone before you are married or no?
Mrs. in 2010 :)
ALF's advice is spot on.My brother is a year younger than I am. There is nothing (no quirk, no bad habit) that any man in my life has ever done that has caught me off guard. Disgusted by degree, yes, but not surprised (four boys sharing a dorm bathroom in college -- I still cringe thinking about it). By the same token, he has long since admitted to his three sisters that we have prepared him well for dealing with quirks his girlfriends have had. My friends who had only sisters or female roommates complain that they never knew. I laugh.
Really, it comes down to whatever works for you.
(And ALF, funny that you mention lighting a grill. That is a completely underestimated "man" task that for whatever reason scared the bejeezus out of me the first few times I had to do it. Really, it's basically the same thing as a gas stovetop, yet seems so much scarier.)
The chaplain we are using for counseling recommended we do some research about co-habitation. While we did live together before getting engaged (only about three months), he told me he was already in the "marriage" mindset and it was the next step. I was uncomfortable living with him before we were engaged, but still went along with it (he was trying to sell his house before he got orders). I did not start to feel comfortable until we had a date set for marriage. I guess, in my situation, I thought it was too easy for him to see it as a roommate situation without the ring and the commitment. I had horrible nightmares that he would just leave high and dry once he got orders and not look back. I would not recommend living with someone without the commitment. Yes, you get things worked out in some respects, but in others it is too easy to say "I'll just ignore it now b/c I dont want to start anything" and then resent it later. It is also too easy to get comfortable and not taking the next step (or worse, taking the next step because it is too comfortable to leave). There are a lot of sites that give some good points for both decisions. Look them up if for nothing more than an interesting read.
Well, I don't run away from the grill, but I do turn the gas on, try the button and if it doesn't light immediately, I freak out and turn it off, wait a minute and try again.I also buy those long fireplace matches and will use those instead if I feel like it's not lighting "right" or fast enough. I may be crazy, but I haven't caught the neighborhood on fire or caused an explosion. (Yet.)
I 100% prefer a gas stove. I hate electric because I can't SEE how hot it is, if that makes any sense. With gas, I hardly ever look at where the knob is set, I look at how big the flames are and set it accordingly. Same reason I don't do as well with charcoal grills, I think.
Being married doesn't feel any different to us than when we weren't. I mean, little things, like calling him my husband, instead of my boyfriend, but other than that, no difference.
This is as pp said a very personal decision, but in my opinion i think living together before being engaged is important at least then you can really see what your other half is like, i mean you dont live together you dont see the quirky side ( which sometimes are the things you love or hate the most) things that they hide ( idont know about everyone else but until i moved in w/ my now fiance i did not know that he spent more time getting dressed then i did!)
Yes, Alfie, but you're a clean freak and your hub is military. It was written in the stars!As you know, I had no interest in getting married, just living together was peachy-keen with me. And then, after 12 years together, I fell in love. Go figure! LOL! Check your yahoo, I emailed you!
We moved in together and it worked. It was one thing to see his underwear on the floor and then go home to my own house. Quite another thing to have a pairon MY floor 24/7.It is just a personal decision. For me and DH it was one thing when our bad habits could be left at the door when we went to our separate houses. It was another thing we our attitudes were in our faces 24/7.We are both loners. I am very used to having my own "space". It was really hard at first to have a person around me 24/7 with no where to hide.Like I enjoyed him being unemployed and home for awhile, then I was ready for him to go back to work so I could have some time to myself.I am personally glad I got that done and over with before we got married. Our first year of marriage has been hard enough, I don't think it would have made it easier to transition from being alone to having a person constantly in my face at the same time.
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